(There was) Pain & (there was no) Gain

I've been putting this review off because the movie has left such a sour taste in my mouth.  Listen, I'm the first person to try and find something good about any movie, even Michael Bay movies.  I'm not one to argue his value in Hollywood.  However I know what to expect when I see one of his movies.  Usually.  And dammit if I didn't really dislike Pain & Gain.  Truly I was hoping it would be a fun, mindless summer action flick.  It really wasn't.  I like the three main actors (Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Anthony Mackie) a lot. I've seen these guys be really great.  Ok, I've seen two of the guys be really great, the other just has tons of charm and is good at his wheelhouse-type stuff.  They were not great in this. 

So what was good?  Um, well, it was fun seeing them try to recreate Miami in the 90s.  Though I will say I spotted some vodka on the wall behind the bar in a scene and that brand just came out this year.  When it comes to vodka, I have an eagle eye.  No, I'm not proud of this.  Rebel Wilson was her typical fun self.  Oh and I kind of liked Ed Harris and Tony Shalhoub but then those guys are usually good no matter who the director is.  Again, the Miami part of it was bright and sunny and whatever.  There were a few funny jokes in this warehouse (if you've seen the movie then you know the location) where they spend a good chunk of the film. 

Other than a few of the actors and bright, sunny Miami, there wasn't much to like about Pain & Gain and I'm honestly disappointed by that.  The story is or could have been funny, especially if it is as true as they wanted us to believe it is.  Bay tried to over-stylize it with excessive slo-mo, almost constant moving camera, and pauses with notes on the screen to tell you what's going on.  Anywhoodle, don't bother seeing the movie.  Just enjoy these GIFs that Buzzfeed put out there for you.