Resident Evil: Retribution (in 3D! even)

Yes, I spent 3D money on a crap film.  Also, I refuse to apologize for it. I have a weekness for crappy franchises.  Give me Blade or Underworld or Resident Evil any day!  I'll be there with my glasses on.

Resident Evil: Retribution picks up exactly where Resident Evil: Afterlife left off.  Like exactly where it left off.  Oh yeah, I'm going to assume the only people reading this have seen the other 4 preceding movies.  If not, this is no place for you.  Go on and read something of Tracy's.  She watches the important stuff.  Speaking of Tracy's work on this here blog, I was watching the movie and thinking, "Gee, I wonder if I can relate this to Tracy's theory on very powerful, very damaged girls in movies."  Then I quickly quashed that because A) Jovovich isn't a girl and B) THIS IS A RESIDENT EVIL MOVIE.  Oh and for those of you who have seen all the Resident Evil movies, a few of the past favorites show up in this one and that made it kind of fun too.  No Chris Redfield.  Boo :(  But Luther and Carlos are there. :) Yay!

The story is this:  Jovovich's Alice is still trying to do whatever it is she thinks she's supposed to be doing (escaping an Umbrella facility, taking down Umbrella, etc.) to end the game, er, movie series.  This time around she wakes up in an Umbrella facility (shocking, I know) and is supposed to meet a group of beefy mercenaries who are there to get her out so she can save the outside world from the infected.  The facility she's in was an old, Russian submarine facility that Umbrella bought and turned into biohazard testing sites.  Sections of the facility have been set up to look like different parts of the world (NYC, Tokyo, Moscow, Berlin, and suburbia).  This iteration of the RE movies played out much more like a video game than any of the others.  There was a clear mission (getting out) and we were provided with maps, and graphics showing where to go.  The Red Queen was back starting up the biohazards in each site just like it would if you were playing the game.  I don't play these games so it's very possible this was lifted straight from a game and I just don't know.

Um, what else can I say?  As mentioned, I saw this in 3D (at my local, cheap theater where matinee 3D shows are $5.75-bless 'em) and was glad I did.  They made good use of it and it looked pretty cool overall.  Paul W.S. Anderson (not to be confused with the Paul "P.T" Anderson whose movie also released this weekend and is probably outstanding) loves directing these slo-mo action films and he does it well. It gets a little old after a while but it's fun to watch and he does it well.  What he doesn't do well is direct actors but then the term "acting" is used loosely when referring to these types of films.  Everyone showed up, they knew their lines, and they kicked ass.  Plus most of the guys were good looking and full of muscles:

Milla remains one of my girl-crushes.  We're the same age and she looks just as fantastic now as she did 15 years ago.  She's a total goofball in person (I've been to a few of her Comic-Con panels) and I love that.  She might have had a different career but I think she digs doing these fun movies and I think she digs working with her husband.  So good for her.