Glee, New Girl, and Raising Hope - Didja watch?

Didja watch Glee "Yes/No?"  If you had you woulda seen:

- An homage to Grease!  They even opened with Mercedes and Sam, etc. singing "Summer Nights"  Don't tell Travolta that Sam did a better job hitting that last note.

- Inside the school Becky let's us hear her inner monologue and it sounds a lot like Helen Mirren!  She's crushing on Artie and asks Coach Sue for advice.  Luckily she's caught Sue on a rare nice week so Sue tells her to ask him out because the worst that could happen is he says no.  True.

- In the teacher's lunch room Beiste tells Sue and Emma that she and Cooter eloped.  Wow, that happened fast.  Then Beiste and Sue try to convince Emma that she should propose to Will herself and not wait around hoping he'll do it.  Emma sings "Wedding Bell Blues" but instead of "Bill" it gets replaced with "Will."  Sue and Beiste even get to wear Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie's royal fascinators.  Stylish!  Too bad Emma wasn't totally singing to herself and has managed to kind of tell Will what was on her mind.  So Will decides it is in fact time to propose and enlists the help of the glee kids.  He wants romantical songs and he wants 'em now!

- Sam is still hitting on Mercedes but she keeps reminding him that she's with Shane now.  So in the true spirit of Grease, Sam decides to get a letter jacket because that's why Mercedes won't date him.  Duh.  According to Bieste there's only one team he can join and it's synchronized swimming.  Nene Leakes is inexplicably the coach and insults Sam and his uneven nipples.  Weird.  Finn points out to Sam that the combo of synchronized swimming and glee club is a death wish and the subsequent slushie from the hockey team proves he's right.

- Becky asks Artie out and even pulls a Katie / Hubbell move (anyone?) and gently sweeps his bangs aside.  Meanwhile Artie has Schue's song on the brain and tells Schue to go with an upbeat song and that he should be working his hips more because he has rock star hips.  Adds Mike, "Mick Jagger hips." NOOOOOO! I immediately fast forward because I know the next song is one of the worst ear worms ever.  I'm even scared to type out the name because I'm sure it'll get stuck in my head.  Stupid song.  They sing a mash up of that with "Jumpin' Jack Flash" but Schue thinks it'd be too sweaty for Emma to enjoy.

- Schue and Finn go ring shopping and he asks Finn to be his best man.  So Finn asks Schue's opinion about his idea to join the army and Schue is visibly concerned. 

- The girls pitch "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" to Schue and it's very sweet.  Each girl pictures her significant other while singing and Mercedes pictures Sam.  Scandalous!  I guess the song helped because Schue goes to Emma's parents to ask for their blessing.  They say no but because they don't think Emma can handle the messiness of marriage and babies, etc.  Wow.  What jerks.

- Artie and Becky went on their date to Breadstix and Artie had fun with her as he should.  She's hilarious as is her mother who makes a cute joke about what a good dancer Becky is by calling it "Get Down's Syndrome."  The glee kids think they know better and hold a Becky-vention for Artie warning him away from her.  He calls them on their BS about saying it's OK to be different, what matters is on the inside, etc. but really they're just as shallow as everyone else.  Becky lets Artie know she wants him, like REALLY wants him this Friday night.  He's freaked and goes to Sue for advice.  Sue's on a roll because she tells him to be honest with Becky and treat her like everyone else.  Sue doesn't let him go before telling him to stop wearing driving gloves and to stop buttoning his shirt all the way up like a weirdo.  At the end he lets her down easily but Helen Mirren tells us that it's because of her Down's. 

- Then Schue has an army-vention for Finn and rats out Finn to his parents.  They try to talk him out of it by letting him in on the secret that his dad didn't die in combat in Iraq but instead died a cokehead in Cincinnati.  Nice. It's a Finn/Kurt/Rachel pity party at Breadstix and this prompts Rachel to sing "Without You" to Finn.

- Emma confronts Schue about marriages and he tows her parents line about her not being able to handle it.  The jerk even makes her cry and doesn't really acknowledge the progress she's made.  He needs time to think about it but Sam comes to the rescue with a proposal idea.  Good thing Sam's still into it.  Schue walks Emma down the hall to the pool and the whole way people hand her white roses.  In the pool is what must be the rest of the school because I can't imagine the synchronized swim team plus the glee kids added together would fill that room.  They sing "We Found Love," he proposes, she says yes and it's lovely.  Later Finn is declaring his love for Rachel and proposes to her as well.  Whoa.

Songs I downloaded:


 Didja watch New Girl "Story of the 50?"  If you had you woulda seen:

- Schmidt's 29th birthday bash!

- Schmidt owes the douchebag jar $50 and we find out it's for something he did at his birthday the night before. We flashback 3 days to when Schmidt loses his reservation for a party bus.  He's especially bummed because he's always trying to impress/outdo his college friend, nay bro-nemy/friemesis, Benjamin.  Flashback even further to Benjamin and a chubby Schmidt driving to college together. 

- Jess wants to throw him a party but Nick and Winston try to dissuade her because Schmidt's friends are very different people.  I would love to write down all the funny stuff that gets said but it would end up being longer than my overly long Glee post above.  My favorite one was regarding a party Schmidt went to where the theme was Bros Before Hos on the Moon and the dress code was yacht-flair.  What does that even mean?!?!

- Apparently when you tell Jess not to do something she wants it that much more.  She is thrilled at hiring her first stripper and gets caught (by Rachel Harris!) trying to round up some 'party favors' in her school's "confiscation station."  She gets out of it by inviting Rachel to the party.

- Meanwhile Nick's on a date with Lizzy Caplan(!) and Winston invites her to the party.  Too bad Nick was desperate to keep Schmidt a secret from her.

- Jess rents a school bus that even has a stripper pole.  Too bad the stripper service sent an weird, old stripper dude.

- Icky Benjamin hits on Jess and then insults the party.  This pisses Lizzy Caplan off who hits him and in the process forces the bus off the road and into a telephone pole.  Schmidt admits to Jess that no one ever did that for him before and he really enjoyed the party.  He thanks her by trying to kiss her...ergo the $50 in the d-bag jar.  There's a fun montage of all the douchey things Schmidt does during the credits and if I wrote them down we'd be in the super long post again.


Didja watch Raising Hope "Mrs. Smartypants?" If you had you woulda seen:

 - Burt's awesome red cup fort! Plus he wears a tee that says "I"d Rather Be In Virginia."  That's funny because his wife's name is Virginia.  Get it?  Yeah.

- Hope is smarter at 2 than Jimmy was at 4 (possibly even smarter than he is now).  So Jimmy decides to get his GED and Fred Williard (!) is his teacher now and was his teacher back in high school.  He uses Jimmy in a really mean way as his example for every question.

- Burt and Virginia don't want Jimmy to be smarter than them so they decide to get their GEDs too.  Each one gets tutored in one area and find out that together they make one smart person.  So in order to get Jimmy his GED they totally cheat on the exam A-Team style. 

So I guess their lesson learned is that if they put their heads together they can cheat their way through anything.