Survivor: One World "Bum-Puzzled"

Oh Survivor.  There have been many seasons I did not watch and I didn't feel like I was missing anything.  I almost didn't watch this season but I'm so glad I did.  Sooooo very glad I did.  Not a lot to say about the girls this week so I'm skipping them completely.

Manono:
Michael: Takes the time to label the non-model alliance (the gay guy, the Asian guy, the little guy) and then calls them weak...even though they just voted out someone from his alliance.
Tarzan: Trying to run things and is incredibly out of touch but not in that cute, old-man kind of way.
Troyzan: still maiking sexist, broad generalizations about broads
Leif: During a conversation with Bill leaked that they were aiming to vote him out at Tribal council, which is a surprise to...
Bill: after reward challenge is the only guy to not underestimate the women.

Speaking of the reward challenge...this week the contestants have to shoot coconuts at a giant board and  knock out 5 spots in a row to win.  Kat is actually pretty good at this one!  Finally!  The girls win and choose a tarp from the 3 reward choices (the other two were coffee and donuts or pillows and blankets). 

Colton: calls Leif a munchkin who he wants to send back to Oz. Oh. No. He. Didn't!  Colton is really forcing himself as the boss and it's working.  Oh and then he called Leif an Oompa Loompa.  Um, has Colton never been subject to slurs?  Does he not have those feelings deep down that I though most of us possess that get hurt when someone calls you names? I'm getting back to him in a minute but can't until I discuss the immunity challenge:

So the immunity challenge has the survivors paired off going over a balance beam and solving puzzles.  The girls are abysmal.  The guys finish before the second pair of girls get to their puzzle.  The guys bitch and moan when the girls look at their finished puzzles for help but it doesn't matter because the guys win anyway.  The girls are ready to vote Alicia off (I think, at least that's who Jeff was calling out) when they are blind-sided by the absolute dumbest thing I've ever seen (or heard of) on Survivor happens.

Colton: He's really the focus of this show and is truly running things.  In fact most of the guys are scared of him.  Word gets around that Leif spilled the beans to Bill.  Colton wants Bill out but apparently Tarzan and Troyzan get the story wrong and think they are voting out Leif because of his betrayal to their alliance.  The two of them were acting REALLY hurt and Leif was actually apologizing for it.  Colton is so determined to get rid of Bill (not Leif) that he suggests they give the girls immunity and go to tribal council themselves.  Uh, what?!?!  AND THE REST OF THE GUYS AGREE TO IT!!!
Jay: who is from Gaffney, SC, y'all! Confirms his hometown heritage by the following words: Bum-Puzzled.  He is bum-puzzled by Colton's suggestion of offering themselves up at tribal.

The look on Jeff's face is absolutely priceless when they arrive instead of the women.  Tribal council is a mess and for a while I think they are still going to write Leif's name down but then he's not who Colton is after and, just like sheep, they all vote the way he wants them to.

"Bill, the tribe has spoken."

My mother's quote of the week: "Long live the queen."