Liveblogging The Bachelor: First Dates

So despite our fondest wishes, Bachelor Sean didn't just propose to someone last week on the first night and get this all over with. Though he was handing out roses like Christmas candy. So I suppose we must continue the charade. I remember none of the women, and honestly barely remember Sean, so let's get reacquainted with the vapid narcissists, shall we?

7:00 A recap of the weeping and posturing from last week, and a preview of the "dating' (i.e., bungee jumping, making out, and catfighting) to come tonight.

7:01 We open with Sean working out and showering. Ew. Then Chris Harrison, wearing a quite unflattering shirt and ill-fitting jeans, assures the ladies that one of them will soon be engaged to Sean. Thanks for that, Chris. He hands out the date cards, and helpfully suggests they "wrestle" over them. Sarah, who I feel bad for calling the girl with one arm, has the first one-on-one date. AND . . . we have the first helicopter of the season. Drink!

7:03: Kacie, who you might remember from Ben's season, feigns surprise that there is a helicopter, as if she's never been on The Bachelor before.

7:05 Sarah deems this experience (i.e., riding in a helicopter with a man she barely knows) "the biggest dream of her life come true." That's a shame.

7:09 Okay, so he's going to make the one-armed girl free fall off a three-hundred foot building. How . . . romantic? Why do they always make these people jump mindlessly into open space? Is it indicative of a suicidal death wish inherent in The Bahcelor project itself? Is this Freud's death drive in reality TV action?

7:11 Sarah has no emotional inflection in her voice. It's annoying. Sean's all "Sarah's freaking out," but I see no evidence of that.

7:13 They jump. They don't die. They drink.

7:19 Sarah shares a boring story about going to Vegas and being unable to zip line because of her arm. The director helpfully cuts to her arm. Sean's eyes are glazing over. It all ends with Sean pledging to protect her. At least until around week 3, I'm guessing.

7:22 We've got an enormous group date on the docket. Tierra establishes herself as The Bitch on the show by trotting out the old sawhorse, "I'm not here to make friends."

7: 24 Sean and Sarah are back on a rooftop. Is he going to make her jump off again? No. He's giving her a rose. Sean shares that it's been a long time since he's "connected with someone like this" on a first date. Really? I don't think he said five words in a row.

7:29 Ugh. These group dates are so awkward. Especially when it's The Bachelor--it's like Orpheus and the Maenads. Some of these girls don't appear to be wearing pants at all. The "date" is much like one many of us have had before--a cover shoot for Harlequin Romance.

7:34 The first group are posing for a cowboy-themed romance novel. The horse looks as bored as I am. Some girl (Lesley maybe?) kissed Sean and the rest of the girls are pissed. They vow to up the ante. This could conceivably become a porn shoot.

7:39 I went to feed the cat. Looks like the model won the challenge, and now, naturally, it's time for a pool party.

7:43 I'm expecting the claws to come out at the pool party. In an extremely poorly-lit room, Sean asks Lesley why she's there. Lesley says for love. Apparently not for kissing, since they don't manage to make that happen despite high-school-esque body language fails. As an aside, you know what I don't like about Sean? His blonde eyebrows.

7:46 Lesley, crippled by regret, gives it another try. This time, they connect, kiss-wise. Great. Whatever.

7:48 Kacie from Before accounts for her decision to submit herself to this charade yet again. Sean agrees to move her from the "Friend Zone." There's a relief. It's also sort of funny how the other girls ask Kacie about the details of the show--like, "when does he hand out the rose?" Because she knows. Because she was rejected before.

7:53 Catherine drops the line "I'm vegan but I love the beef," which is apparently the funniest thing Sean has ever heard. As he chats, the other girls decide they hate Tierra (which is what she wants) and Kate (the yoga instructor who looks like she could not be less into this).

7:57 Inexplicably, there are still girls left at the house. Some girl named Desiree is going on the next one-on one. Meanwhile, back at the pool party with no visible pool, the rose has still not been handed out.

7:59 Kacie, in a sly move, basically talks Katie out of staying on the show. She has been on this show before. And it WORKS. Katie is gone and gone. Man, watch out for Kacie. Who's she going to eliminate next?

8:01 Sean is finally fondling the rose. He's handing it out to Kacie for having the "courage" to do this twice. Kacie is One to Watch. Damn. She turned her previous rejection into a rose, and single-handedly narrowed the field.

8:06 So apparently Chris and Sean are going to punk Desiree. Again I say, that's so . . . romantic? they set up a fake art exhibit, rigged one of the fake pieces to smash, and blame her. I never thought the free fall date would be the most normal, but there we have it.

8:09 This is allegedly to find out if Desiree "has a sense of humor" and "can take a joke." I think what we're really going to find out that "Sean is a sadist."

8:10 As an aside, it's hilarious to see what Bachelor producers think contemporary art/artists look like. And the fake piece that's going to explode is called "Poulet et petit," which, though my French is rusty, I believe means "the chicken and the small." And no one mentions that.

8:11 According to the fake gallery owner, the small chicken art is supposed to be the artist's response to "the Chernobyl disaster." You canNOT make this stuff up.

8:12 Okay, so the chicken thing falls off the wall, when Desiree is nowhere near it. How is she supposed to think this is her fault? Worst prank ever.

8:13 The fake "artist," who looks like a homeless Colin Ferrell, is about to go Method and slap Desiree for ruining his art. I think the only person who we're pretty sure doesn't have a sense of humor is Sean. He reveals that everyone is actors. This is the Worst Date Ever.

8:19 Sean cooks meat and an enormous stalk of broccoli, so all is forgiven. I think Desiree secretly wishes she went home with Homeless Colin Ferrell.

8:21 Sean and Desiree bond on how their parents are "exactly alike." That's kind of a genetically uncertain road to go down, kids.

8:25 So that seems like a success. Apparently Desiree has all the qualities of his future wife. Isn't into art-lovers or French-speakers, apparently.

8:30 Time for the Cocktail Party of Doom. I hope somebody cries!

8:32 Sean pulls aside Wedding Dress Girl, who got no date this week. She shares that her father is a general, which is "wild" and "awesome." She also predicts that "beauty fades." Sean threatens to "lose his hair" and "get fat." Lindsey sees his lose his hair and get fat. Sean is smitten.

8:35 There's a new girl to hate on the radar! Amanda is sitting on the couch, scowling, and refusing to speak. That's a novel approach.

8:36 "Tonight is a tornado of negativity waiting to happen" says random girl whose name I don't know. From your mouth to God's ear.

8:40 Much like last night's (excellent) season 2 premiere of Girls, Robin calls attention to the fact that there has been much criticism of The Bachelor for not being culturally diverse, and that this season seems to be consciously addressing that. She asks him, basically, if he's attracted to African American girls. Sean responds that he has dated Hispanics and Persians. Robin is satisfied.

8:44 And we have our first accusation that Amanda "isn't here for the right reasons." Drink!

8:45 Amanda transforms into Dr. Jekyll once Sean pulls her aside for a chat. The girls fume, and vow to expose her true colors to Sean. Desiree looks like she's on the verge of tears at Amanda's deception. Chris intercedes before the girls can expose her duplicity with the announcement that it's time for the Rose Ceremony. Which two are going to get axed?

8:51 God, rose ceremonies are long and boring in these first few weeks. It's always fun to look for the girl that I'm certain I've never seen before and has just walked in off the street, though.

8:55 So Amanda Who Everyone Hates got the last rose, and two girls who were "ready for love" get dismissed. OH! One of them is the woman with two kids.

8:58 Next time . . . (when I will be in New York so you Bachelor fans are on your own for a week), we have more making out, more back-stabbing, and what looks like some sort of assault that puts someone (looks like Tierra) in a neck brace. I'll see you in a couple weeks!

Downton Abbey The Morning After: Going to the Chapel, Going to Get Married

Spoilers aplenty follow . . .

Mostly concerning the unbearable pitifulness of being Edith

Before we get to the exercise in sadism that was Lady "Poor" Edith's "wedding," let's spend some time on Matthew. It seems that self-righteousness is genetically coextensive with bright blue eyes. He's still refusing to accept St. Lavinia's Dad's money.

Oh, enough already.

Thank God he didn't have any former awkward break-ups with a member of the Crawley family, or I guess he would have had to turn down Downton Abbey as well. He's so wracked with guilt, he refuses to open the letter Lavinia Pater sent to him, so Mary, does so herself. Like a normal person. And of course, Lavinia Sr. has managed to somehow predict all of Matthew's objections and refute them, point by point, like a dead, rich, captain of the debate team. So everything's fine now? Right?

Wrong. Matthew doesn't believe Lavinia sent the letter as she was expiring from the Spanish flu. (Which, incidentally, I watched a documentary about yesterday--did you know it originated in Kansas? Me either.) So Mary has to track down a witness. She should talk to Anna for tips. And speaking of downstairs, Daisy sent the letter, which she tells Mary in a rather anti-climactic way: "Oh, it was me." And now Downton is saved! Surprising no one!

Meanwhile, Lady Edith is getting married to the one-armed geriatric bandit! Nothing good can come of this. After some awkward sexual innuendos between Vi and Syb, and some even more awkward sexual innuendos between Vi and the priest (!), it's time for the wedding!

:)

 Except, not.

:(

By and through very publicly sharing information that would have been really good for Edith to know YESTERDAY, Sir Robert confesses that he can't go through with the wedding, and doom Edith to a life as a nursemaid. Despite the fact that such a life (rich, independent, with a man she presumably loves) seems okay by Edith, everyone is sort of relieved.

Except, you know, Edith.

Poor Edith, however, aggressively skulks about the house, throwing her jilting in everyone's face, rather like an Edwardian Carrie Bradshaw from the Sex and the City movie.

As for downstairs? O'Brien and Thomas amp up their rivalry over some missing shirts (seems rather petty in light of the above, but whatever), and Thomas instrumentalizes the hapless Mr. Moseley to spread a rumor of O'Brien's departure.

The face of a woman who just got played.

Hopefully this is leading somewhere much nastier.

O'Brien seems to promise it will.

Speaking of nasty, Mrs. Hughes's lump isn't! And Carson is thrilled. And it's very sweet.

As to Anna and Batesie, the former keeps looking for evidence to exonerate her husband, and the latter keeps managing prison like a boss. His traitorous cellie plants what looks like, but probably is not, an exploding cigar in Bates's bunk, but he's tipped off at the last minute. It's sort of like the prison version of stolen shirts.

I can't find a picture of the thing, so this still of Bates looking cagey will have to suffice.

So there you have it. Downton will be saved (and Matthew will be a full partner, whatever that means), keeping safe a place where Edith can be pitiful, Thomas can be snake-like, and Vi can be sassy. All is right with the world. For now . . .

"Epiphany" (Angel 2.16): Lindsey Goes Medieval on Angel's Ass

For Jenn and I both, the title of this episode always recalls James Joyce. Angel experiences nothing that approximates the realization of human futility that befalls the young protagonist of "Araby" or the older protagonist of "The Dead," but some stuff still gets realized by the undead protagonist of our little show. So let's go over what we learned, shall we?

If you're a blonde, DON'T have sex with Angel when it's raining. If you're Buffy, it means your sweet, broody boyfriend has become a demon.

If you're Darla in "Epiphany," it means your bitter, tortured frenemy doesn't turn back into a demon, but rather realizes what an ass he's been lately and actually becomes nicer.

Bummer.

DO realize that sometimes the Powers that Be are assholes. Cordelia has been tricked into acting as bait by the "eye in the back of the head" demons, which she realizes via vision from the PtB . . . seconds before the assault actually occurs.

Thanks.

For me, the Skilosh demons treatment of Cordy feels squeamishly close to rape, but the point isn't so much Cordelia's plight as much as getting Angel, Wesley, and Gunn fighting (uneasily) on the same team again.

DON'T forget that you can take the boy out of Texas, but, well, you know. For me, this episode belongs to one man.

I know that the key narrative development is the reunion of Angel Investigations, but I will love it most for featuring Lindsey,

in a bitchin' car,

wielding a sledgehammer and aiming to kick some vampire ass.

I want him to be the next Bachelor.

Jenn points out that this episode, though ushering in the fun of the Pylea episodes that conclude season 2, also inextricably points toward the sucky slogfest that are seasons 3 & 4. So enjoy it while you can, folks.

Aslo, Kate gets saved. Whatevs.

Lincoln: Meh

Let it never be said that I am not a person who is enamored of the best (and so often tragically and grotesquely unrealized) version of America. The documents on which this nation was founded bring tears to my eyes with the poetry of their hope and belief in the potential of Americans. And of all the stories that seem to support that hope, that of Abraham Lincoln's desperate devotion to saving the Union and liberating the slaves is one of the most moving. So why did I leave Stephen Spielberg's epic feeling like I had just watched three more-riveting-than-usual hours of CSPAN crossed with a sub par West Wing episode?

Lincoln tries to do a lot of work in relatively little space, despite its near three-hour running time. Screenwriter (and American genius) Tony Kushner admits that his first draft of the script was 500 pages. I would like to have seen that movie (or, as Nat suggests, miniseries). As is, the film parades a panoply of characters, all played by semi- to quite-famous actors, all reduced to mere sketches as they do their business to further their plot and move along. (James Spader is the funny one! Joseph Gordon-Levitt is idealistic and rebellious!) And that plot centers on about a month in Lincoln's life as he horse trades and dances the side-step with the "we've always been annoying" House of Representatives in order to pass the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, thereby abolishing slavery before the cessation of the Civil War (when most Americans will no longer be inclined to support it).

Perhaps it shouldn't have been called "Lincoln." Maybe something like "13th," or "January 1865" would have better captured the film's project. It does get props for creating suspense surrounding the fate of an already long-established historical event (though I think Argo did it better), but there is much in Lincoln's life and presidency with which the film does not concern itself. I enjoyed seeing the icon represented as not only human but a bit of a rascal, and Daniel Day Lewis does, as always, earn his Oscar nomination. (Give yourself a few minutes at the start of the film to get used to how much he looks like Lincoln. You'll need it before you start actually paying attention.) Mary Todd Lincoln is notable for the way the character is written (she's sassy and not totally insane), but I wasn't that taken with Sally Field's portrayal. Some of the other performances are strong, particularly that of Tommy Lee Jones, who does a lot with relatively little, thanks to his decision to bring his weathered face and hang-dog eyes to the role, and the trio of lobbyists (Spader, John Hawkes, and Tim Blake Nelson) are refreshing in both form and content, as they unashamedly bribe congressmen to pass an amendment not for moral reasons but purely out of self-interest.

But I found myself bored at times--and I'm a person who has been known to watch three not particularly riveting hours of CSPAN. On purpose. Lincoln manages to be both too short and too long, suffering mightily from Jacksonian "too many endings" syndrome. I am glad Lincoln exists, because it is often beautiful and occasionally moving, but at the end of the day, Django Unchained has gotten more people saying smarter and more productive things about history and race whether they liked the film or not, and I think that says something.

Hyde Park on Hudson

I mistakenly held onto this post because I was going to include a congratulations to Mr. Murry for his Oscar nomination. Silly me. Someone screwed up and they skipped right over him.  I just want to say that he was fantastic.  He did justice to FDR without slipping into a caricature.  His accent was fabulous and not too thick. Of course the only other FDR I can think of at present is the dude in Annie (which people tell me is a terrible movie but I love it anyway)  so I don't have much to compare him to.  Anywhoodle, here's my review.  It's brief because I'm bummed that it got no love from Oscar and when I'm bummed I tend to ramble.

So I think I've mentioned that Bill Murray and I dated for, like, 3 to 5 minutes, right?  Well we did.  My friend Debra, who I don't talk to anymore, was there and could totally confirm my claim.  It ended well and I still think of him quite fondly, which is why I was very excited to see his new film, Hyde Park on Hudson.

I think my one tiny complaint was a sense of overwhelming familiarity.  Even though I knew the character of King George VI (aka Bertie) was going to show up, I still managed to get an overall feel like I was watching a sequel to The King's Speech.  Not to take away from Hyde Park but there was just a feeling I had of been there, done that.  I'm guessing this can be attributed to time period and a sharing of characters but it still all seemed so familiar to me. 

So the film is mostly about President Franklin D. Roosevelt and his cousin/girlfriend, Daisy (played wonderfully by Laura Linney).  It's interesting to see how their relationship evolves from an awkward kinship to what I can only describe as a sister-wife situation. I don't want to spoil it for you but Daisy wasn't his only mistress.  It's an odd situation because he cares for them but mostly because he needed something different from each of them.  Sadly what it is he needs from each isn't really fleshed out but there may not have been time for that.  Instead they go into America's special relationship with England right before we got into World War II. 

I'm struggling to put my overall feeling into words. Yes, there were some story problems, perhaps, but I just really liked the movie.  Hyde Park was just a fun way to spend an hour and a half .  There wasn't anything too controversial (everyone knows Eleanor was a hipster feminist and that presidents got around) or earth-shattering but does there have to be?  It was pleasant and terribly funny (there's this whole thing about the King of England eating hot dogs that is just a joy to watch unfold) and that's all I really need from movies sometimes. 

The Hobbit: An Uneducated (Visual) Comparison

I've seen The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey three times so far.  The first day I saw it was also the same day of the Sandy Hook tragedy so I just haven't felt up to writing much about it.  I loved the movie, more than a lot of folks, apparently.  But I still can't think about it without my mind wandering to the families in Connecticut.  So I'm going to take a different approach to my discussion.  I saw the film first in 2D, then in 3D and finally in 3D HFR (high frame rate).  I'm definitely not an expert on the subject of frame rates, etc., but I can tell you that what we're referring to here is shooting a movie in 48 frames per second instead of a standard 24 frames per second.  I think there is some discussion out there about what the human eye truly processes per second but that's more than I need to know.  What I do know is what I like and what worked for me.  Sadly I have no actual visuals to do a comparison but I will include some pretty Hobbit pictures if that helps.  I don't think the movie stills do the film any justice but they're still nice to look at.

First up...2D.  I think the regular print of The Hobbit looked absolutely lovely.  It was bright, clear and pretty to look at.  The effects and CGI worked wonderfully. I didn't feel like I was missing out by not seeing it in 3D (maybe because I knew I would be experiencing it that way later) either.  There aren't too many occasions in the movie that things are flying around and you find yourself thinking, "Gee I wish I had 3D glasses on right now."  That said...

Seeing it in straight 3D was by far my favorite.  What was pretty in 2D was absolutely gorgeous in 3D.  It was the first time I saw a movie in 3D and didn't have to fuss with the glasses. I always feel like there are dark spots and stuff is just never clear enough for me.  Not so with The Hobbit.  Gollum looked absolutely fantastic and incredibly life-like.

Rivendell looked about the same as it did in the Lord of the Rings movies, which is to say, quite lovely.  However I wasn't struck by any noticeable improvement in scenery there.  

The 3D HFR didn't sit right with me the entire time but for the most part it was fine. I didn't actually notice a huge difference from regular 3D but then there were a few times it seemed a bit off.  What I noticed was that occasionally movement seemed wrong.  Someone's arm moved a bit too fast or the camera moved just a hair too much.  I think any tiny little weirdness in movement was exaggerated but then was gone in a flash so it wasn't a huge deal.  The fighting and running around all looked fine and I think that's because the camera was pulled back a bit. The scene where the dwarves clean up after dinner (probably my favorite one because they are actually singing) looked no different than regular 3D so that was good too .

The scenery didn't look too terribly different from the 3D either.  I guess I wanted to be astounded by the HFR so I could totally back Jackson's choice in using it.  I just didn't see what the big deal was.  However I wonder what the 2D and regular 3D would have looked like if he hadn't shot it at 48 fps.  I'm sure someone much more knowledgeable than myself would have more to say about the HFR

My good friend and Tolkien "scholar," Michael Livingston wrote a review of The Hobbit on his blog and I encourage you to check it out. 

"The Body" (Buffy 5.16): Simply a Masterpiece

This episode is not one I would usually list amongst my "favorites" of the series, because it is decidedly not an example of the "hurts so good" catgory of "Amends" or "The Prom." "The Body" is upsetting and uncomfortable and unfair. It's also moving and revelatory and very, very real. Jenn and I agreed that the typical Do's and Don't's format wouldn't be appropriate to discuss what writer/director (and demigod) Joss Whedon achieved with this episode. I decided to recap "The Body" by looking at how Whedon used the tools of his chosen medium, television, to explore and represent grief and loss.

Time. The forty minutes of "The Body" is shorter than the time span covered by the story, but not by much. The show opens with the same scene that closed "I Was Made to Love You," emphasizing the crystallization of the moment Buffy discovers Joyce's body.

It's just as shocking every time.

The same mental process, by which ordinary objects attain disproportionate significance in the moments surrounding a trauma, is visually represented in the lead-up to Buffy telling Dawn the news.

Including an unmoving woman's body. The man's a genius.

Sound. One of the most apparent, and most discussed, directorial choices made by Whedon was the exclusion of anything but ambient sound during the episode There is no instrumental music--only distant sirens, chimes, and a whole lot of silence. After the frenzy of Buffy's attempts to revive Joyce, the arrival of the paramedics, and the pronouncement of Joyce's death, there isn't a whole lot to say.

Script. But there are things that have to be said, obviously. However, the episode isn't very interested in the specifics of relating the news. Buffy's ambiguous phone call to Giles--"She's at the house"--could just as easily refer to Glory, which is what Giles assumes. The audience is placed behind a classroom window when Buffy tells Dawn,

and the details of how Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya find out are elided completely. Jenn also has a smart reading of the Christmas flashback, the first of the episode: "This episode really seems to center on the futility of wishful thinking, especially when it comes to something (like death) which is so thoroughly beyond our control. So, having Buffy's first flashback / fantasy going to Christmas and the conversation about whether Santa's a myth is an appropriate introduction. The idea of a real Santa would be great. It would be some positive magic in a world full of so much destruction (both the Sunnydale world and our own). Granted, Anya revealing that he would eviscerate children squashes that idea. But, that's the point. Even when we find out something's real, that doesn't necessarily mean it will meet our ideal expectations or be good."

Character. But what does get expressed verbally are a lot of unanswerable questions. From Willow's desperate uncertainty over what to wear in order to express emotional support for Buffy and grief for Joyce,

to Xander's attempt to blame Glory, then the doctors,

then the wall,

and Anya's poignant confusion over not just the how but the why of death

everyone is struggling to speak about the unspeakable.

Tara emerges as the emotional center of the group even more than usual in this episode. She comforts Xander by suggesting she understands how the pain in his hand corresponds to the pain in his heart, and her articulation of the psychic cataclysm occasioned by her own mother's death is the only comfort Buffy receives in the episode.

I'm tempted to quote her speech in full, but then you'd miss the brilliance of Amber Benson's delivery.

Genre. We are watching a show entitled Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Whedon never lets the horror and fantasy elements of the show's modus operandi be trumped by the all-too-natural story of loss. For example, Anya's pleas for understanding, which at first read as her characteristic blunt insensitivity to the way people communicate due to only recently becoming mortal develops into a very human assault on the inescapable unknowability and brutal stupidity of death. This one I will quote in full. It's famous and it should be.

"I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, ... there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."

The closing scene, where Dawn encounters a vampire after sneaking into the morgue to look at her mom, has occasioned some debate as to whether the intrusion of the supernatural interrupts the dramatic power of the episode. It seems to me that this is just another version of the argument that fantasy and horror, especially if televised, are somehow less serious or important than other methods of narration. Whedon demonstrates how fantasy and horror are intrinsically human responses to the body blow of loss. Buffy's fantasies that she arrived in time to save her mother are just as unlikely and impossible as the notion that vampires live and walk amongst us.

It's called magical thinking for a reason.

And Dawn's slow approach to her mother's dead body is the kind of horror story that the appearance of a vampire intensifies, not negates.

The closing battle graphically illustrates that, though in some ways death stops time, time refuses to stop because of death. Buffy is still the Slayer, and can't absent herself from the world because of her overwhelming grief. But the episode doesn't give us any closure, or any easy answers. The closing shot is of Dawn reaching out to touch her mother's face, and collapsing into blankness.

For Your Consideration: How to Survive a Plague

So Oscar season has finally commenced (as evidenced by one of my favorite elements--the composition of Alisa's Oscar Menu), and as usual, I haven't seen as many nominated films as I should.

But I did catch How to Survive a Plague last night, and I think its content, if not its form, is worthy of Best Documentary Feature gold. The doc's title, as Jonathan points out, is a little misleading, as its focus is not on the macro issues of managing the AIDS crisis in the late twentieth century (largely leaving out issues such as worldwide infection issues, patients of color, and infected women), but rather the micro--the history of ACT UP, a subversive AIDS activist group that used guerilla tactics to raise awareness and deliver experimental drugs to patients who were dying at apocalpytic rates. And at this, How to Survive a Plague is masterful.

The documentary follows the lead provacateurs of ACT UP (some you might recognize--playwright Larry Kramer and artist Ray Navarro, and others you might not, like Bob Rafsky and Mark Harrington) as they stage massive and visually spectacular protests at the National Institute of Health, various drug companies, and the streets of New York and Washington DC in order to call attention to the lack of funding for AIDS research in the 80s and early 90s. While the protestors' flair for embodying the rage and grief they felt at the unspeakable loss the virus was wreaking (a large group scattered the ashes of their deceased loved ones over the White House lawn to call attention to President George Bush's inattention to the epidemic, for example), what is even more remarkable is their commitment to self-empowerment and education in the medical field.

With the help of retired chemist Iris Long, an American hero, the men and women of ACT UP wrote policy papers, researched drug trials, and shepherded experimental treatments through the FDA approval process. They for all intents and purposes created an underground health care system that provided practical assistance and emotional hope to those who were being cruelly and lethally overlooked by the mainstream doctors and pharmacists. And what is almost miraculous is, it worked. Due largely to the untiring work of the men and women of ACT UP, the current class of protease inhibitors--the "Lazarus drug, as it brought the nearly dead back to life--have rendered AIDS (for those who can afford the protocol--a crucial but little remarked upon distinction) into a chronic condition rather than a death sentence. As well a a documentary about the AIDS epidemic, Plague is also a testament to how committed and sustained social activism can (and does) change the world.

How to Survive a Plague doesn't offer a particularly innovative way of telling its story, but its archival footage of early ACT UP meetings and protests is remarkable, and evidences that even as these people were dying, they felt compelled to record the bloody and passionate war they waged against not only AIDS, but a social system that at best ignored the problem, and at worst blamed the victims for their plight. What was even more remarkable to me was the joy and laughter that punctuated the strategy meetings, even as their comrades were physically, unmistakably, wasting away. As the ACT UP motto insists, "Silence = Death," and even during infighting, arrests, and inconceivable loss and grief, these brave, brilliant, and hopeful men and women never stopped shouting, and never believed they weren't worthy of being heard.

Oscar Menu Time!!!

I actually forgot to watch the Oscar nominations this morning and am totally ashamed of myself.  I live for this stuff! I'm not terribly surprised with the noms but am disappointed on behalf of Bill Murray for Hyde Park on Hudson.  He was fantastic and I don't say this just because he's an (imaginary) ex of mine.

So now I need your help with menu items.  As in the past, the idea is to play on the title of the movie or a person's name.  For instance, someone like Javier Bardem becomes Caviar Bardem.  This year's list isn't an easy one so good luck to us all!

Best Picture
Amour
Argo
Beasts of the Southern Wild         Chicken Breasts of the Southern Wild?
Django Unchained
Les Miserables
Life of Pi                                       Life of Pie seems too easy
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Actor
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Actress
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhane* Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild          
Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Argo
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Original Screenplay
Amour, Michael Hanake
Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Flight, John Gatins
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola
Zero Dark Thirty, Mark Boal


Best Adapted Screenplay
Argo, Chris Terrio
Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin,
Life of Pi, David Magee
Lincoln, Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell

Best Animated Feature:
Brave
Frankenweenie                                     Frankenweenies?!?
ParaNorman
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph


*I'm totally going to ignore her real name and make hush puppies in her character's honor.

 

Liveblogging The Bachelor

Has your television viewing experience felt a little bereft of cocktail parties and rose ceremonies lately? Well, Sean the Frankenbachelor is here to satisfy your guilty pleasure/hate watching needs.

Yeah. They picked this guy.

You might remember Sean as the dude who got dumped by Emily last season. Or possibly not. But either way, he and his pecs are meeting twenty-five emotionally stunted and cognitively challenged ladies who are almost certainly lying about their age, all vying to be the girl who will share a People magazine cover with him six months from now, detailing their break-up. Want to get in on the ground floor of this train wreck? Let's liveblog, shall we?

6:56 My wine is poured, my loins are girded, and my snark is engaged. Which I'm guessing Sean won't be for long after the conclusion of this ill-begotten reality show. But still, I watch. And I self-loathe.

6:58 The previews. We have kissing, the first mention of "fairy tale" (drink!) and lots and lots of heavy eye make-up.

6:59 Sean is bitching about being dumped by Emily. Cry me a river, S. Looks like you dodged a bullet with that one. And in the preview, the girls are crying and fighting, and referencing "dark forces" in the house. AWESOME. Is Voldemort one of the contestants?

7:00 Girls are getting carried off on stretchers and calling each other "plagues." This could be a really good season.

7:03 Overlong and boring recap (is there any other kind?) of Emily's Bachelorette season.

7:04 God has another plan for Sean. I don't think any god would be so cruel as to make an appearance on *this* show part of any beloved believer's plan.

7:12 Ari, a fellow loser from Emily's season, is hanging out with Sean, wearing possibly the ugliest shirt I've ever seen. They call each other "dude" a lot and Ari dispenses with kissing advice after Sean practices his "Will you accept this rose" line on him and they make jokes about spending a night together in the Fantasy Suite. Isn't this supposed to be a dating show? Or are they into each other? That would be rad, actually.

7:17 After the break, we finally get to meet the women. Though I suspect I'll soon be nostalgic for these moments before they showed up.

7:18 First online dating commercial. Drink!

7:22 Sean is dressed like "Mr. Bland" from Reservoir Dogs to meet the chicks. Chris Harrison, who you might remember got divorced during the course of the last season, thereby proving the Bachelor toxicity spreads like a zombie virus, destined to infect us all.

7:24 Boring "meet the bitches" segment. I'm going to go get some Fritos and cheese dip.

7:25 It's kind of funny to see these girls pretend they know who the interviewer is talking about when they say "the Bachelor is Sean."

7:28 There is one girl who has two kids and one girl with one arm. And another one who is basing her strategy on her favorite novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, and articulates a hope that Sean will pull off her clothes and spank her. And someone who spells her name AshLee. So this is happening.

7:31 Crap. There's a model. I think we all remember the last model we had on this show.

Yeah. Her.

7:38 Here comes the first limo. God help us all. First up is AshLee, who, judging by her interview, cries. A lot. And a cosmetics consultant. What does that even mean? Ah--it means she puts on lipstick and plants one right on Sean's cheek. Which he doesn't care to wipe off. Charming. But the next chick up pulls a handkerchief out of her cleavage and takes care of it. Again I say, charming.

7:40 Boring, boring, boring. Girl with a secret handshake. Boring boring boring. Time for limo 2.

7:42 Someone from Nashville with unevenly curled hair is singing a sort of embarrassing song about the two of them. But her hair is put into perspective by Katie, the yoga instructor, whose hair has unfortunately exploded. Maybe they can both consult with Other Ashlee, the Fifty Shades fan and hairdresser. She pulls a tie out of her cleavage, and asks Sean to teach her how to "use it" later. Sean looks equal parts confused and terrified.

7:44 Sean is now thanking girls "for coming." I think he's having a stroke. Out of limo 3 comes a girl doing backflips who totally face plants. Well played. Oh God, a graduate student. Followed by a Jumbotron Operator! Now there's something you don't see every day. And a girl from Denver--holla! Faced with Tierra from Colorado, Sean has now left the premises. That must be some kind of record.

7:52 And in what will be the first in what I'm sure will be a series of bad decisions, Sean decides to give Tierra a rose, based solely on the fact that she's wearing a ring with a heart on it. As you might imagine, this makes the other girls just love her.

7:54 Limo 3 must be where they put all the boring girls. I mean, pennies to throw in the fountain? Let's have our awkward pause now so we won't have it later? Please. This is The Bachelor, ladies. Bring your psycho A game. Here comes limo 4. I have high hopes. . .

7:57 That are so far going unrealized. The most interesting thing about these girls is how they managed to dress inappropriately for an event that I thought impossible to dress inappropriately for.

7:58 Lesley brought a football. For apparently no reason, as she just gave it to Sean and didn't throw it or anything.

7:59 A girl in limo 5 threatens to "pee her pants," which is promising. It's the model from Wisconsin. Eh. Now we have a DEAD RINGER for Whitley from A Different World! And a girl who threatens to visit mafia violence upon Sean if he doesn't pick her. There's a novel approach. And, last but not least, we have the girl from the previews who showed up in a wedding dress. She calls herself a "prankster." Methinks she's a leading contender for the "restraining order" rose.

8:02 A surprise contestant! The only inhabitant of limo 6 is . . .  to be revealed after the break. Will it be Emily? Will it be Chris's ex-wife? The suspense is killing me!

8:06 It's . . . someone I don't recognize at all. Who is that? Why is no one telling me who she is? Everyone is acting like I should. I feel like I've taken crazy pills! Is she from Bachelor Pad? Ah--my mother has solved the mystery. She was on Bachelor Ben's season, and her crazy fundamentalist parents ix-nayed the en-Bay. Apparently they were totally cool with the drunken hedonism that is The Bachelor Pad, but whatever.

8:10 Sean gives some b.s. toast about being open-minded or whatever. Forget that. Let the drama begin!

8:12 The wedding dress designer admits to not ever watching Sean on The Bachelor. Sean, naturally, responds by giving her a rose. He is nuts with these roses. I don't think he gets how the show works. It's not like the soccer tournaments where everybody gets a trophy for trying.

8:20 Ah--so Sean is eschewing the rose "ceremony" and just handing them out as he goes along. This seems a shaky strategy, as maybe he should talk to all of them first? But what do I know? Sean knows that he's not into Whitley. Who does sort of talk like her jaw is wired together, so maybe that's a turn-off.

8:22 Wedding dress girl is wasted and worried he didn't "get" the wedding dress "joke." Now she's making him dance and sing. This is officially the first meltdown of the evening. Surprisingly, no rose for her.

8:25 The show is now threateningly to go NC-17 with Fifty Shades oddly dancing and muttering in the background while Sean talks to another girl, and promising to try out some BDSM action at the first cocktail party. Sean informs her he's brought a rape whistle. She's also way drunk, but since she's not in a wedding dress, he's sort of into it.

8:31 One girl is refusing to "compete." She strikes me as a girl who will be going home later. This is, after all, a competition. Apparently, she has no problem with crying, though. 

8:34 The Bachelor is like a social Darwinist's wet dream.That is, if you define "evolution" as "survival of the dumbest and bitchiest."

8:36 Sarah with one arm is explaining about how she has one arm. And she's doing it in a remarkably mature and honest way. So there's no way she's going to last long on this show, which doesn't value such qualities.

8:43 First Rose Ceremony! How many could he possibly have at this point? Two? I hope some of the drunker girls pass out.

8:44 Now comes the part of the show when a bunch of girls whose names I have not bothered to learn get rose, aka, the part of the show where I play around on Facebook.

8:48 Drunk girl in wedding dress = in. Whitley, random blonde girl #1, random blonde girl #2, Bachelor Pad alumna/Jumbotron operator, girl with horrible fake tan who sang = out.

8:51 First mention of "love journey." Drink!

8:56 Highlights. Using the term loosely. We've got bungee jumping and helicopters and musical guests of questionable quality. We've got beaches and mountains and making out. We've got cat fights and and accusations that someone has a boyfriend and is not there "for the right reasons." And . . . roller derby? Neck braces? And crying. Lots and lots of crying. Join me on this love journey, won't you?