"Dead End" (Angel 2.18): All About Lindsey

Both Jenn and I realize that the actual point of this episode is to chronicle the increasingly debilitating effects of Cordy's visions on her body and mind. But both Jenn and I actually like the episode for its focus on that rascally Wolfram & Hart associate, Lindsey McDonald. His arc, at least for this season is completed in a compelling fashion during this episode. So let's take a look at the Angel Guide to Getting an Evil Hand and Freeing a Good Heart

DO look good while you're melting down.  I've always had a soft spot for Lindsey--his doomed love for Darla, his frustration at being a good man in a bad world--in a lot of ways, he's Angel's double, and this episode makes that more clear than ever as they must work together to undo some particularly nasty medical malfeasance. But I must say, the first thing I noticed in the opening Lindsey montage wasn't his plastic hand, but the stylin' bracelet he wears.

Sort of looks like something a tween would buy from Claire's, but whatever.

DO be suspicious of the Wolfram & Hart Insurance Plan. Everything seems to be normal with Lindsey's hand transplant

And by "normal," I mean "not at all."

 until this little quirk that Jenn aptly identifies as a Shining homage.

Lindsey is about to do a lot less work and a lot more play.

DON'T ignore the The Host. Lorne again proves his desire to remain relatively neutral and make his nightclub a safe place for demons and humans all along the D&D Alignment scale by giving the newly handed Lindsey a spot on stage. Rather than karaoking, LMcD showcases his strumming skillz.

and probably shills for the latest Christian Kane album.

Yup. That's a thing.

Lorne insists that Angel and Lindsey should bury the hatchet and work together, which they adorably do, despite Angel's obvious jealousy over Lindsey's superior singing

Angel's "I'm not impressed" face.

and Lindsey's distaste for Angel's vampiric interrogation style

"You're so gross." (Actual quote.)

What they uncover is a pretty unspeakable body farm that Lindsey liberates in a manic freak-out.

Ugh. Poor guy that's just a torso.

DO enjoy one of my favorite scenes from the series. Lindsey's "I've got an evil hand" monologue/resignation from Wolfram & Hart is equal parts hilarious, disturbing, and satisfying. He shoots a security guard in the foot,

"That's gonna hurt in the morning!" (Actual quote.)

ruffles "Charlie's" hair repeatedly,

Charlie looks like Angel did listening to Lindsey sing.

and cops a feel off Lilah

"Evil!" (Actual quote.)

before warning the partners not to pursue him because of his "evil hand" issues, and riding off into the sunset in his cool truck, which Angel has, um, altered, as a good-bye gift.

Gotta love Angel when he's being immature.

Jenn suspects that Lindsey's parting advice to Angel, to not play W&H's game, but rather to make them play his, is a nod towards season 5 and the role he plays in the end of the series. Both of us wouldn't put it past Joss.

"Disharmony" (Angel 2.17): Not the Most Cleverly Titled Episode

Yeah. She's in it.

In a synchronicity that in this case makes Angel suffer mightily by comparison, the Angelites are still processing Angel's return and hope for forgiveness for acting like a dolt for several previous episodes. Wesley makes him sit outside his own office and fetch coffee, and Cordelia tells him they're "not friends." Which, rather touchingly, bothers Angel a lot.

Look. He makes the sad Angel face.

The theme of friendship is central to this episode, because Cordelia is forced to radically reexamine hers with fellow Mean Girl Harmony. So though we're operating in a pre-Facebook world, here's the Angel guide to friending and unfriending vampires.

DO expect to pay your dues. Angel's pre-credit muttering of "atonement's a bitch" is a refreshingly funny take on what tends to be his bete noir. But it's true--Angel spends much of the episode desperately trying to make it up to Wesley, Cordy, and Gunn. By the end, he's succeeded with pretty much all of them.

DON'T be too subtle with Cordelia. Harmony shows up in L.A., post-break-up with Spike, eager to find her purpose. If you think that's a flimsy excuse for a guest spot, you're sort of right, but it does fit into the episode's thematic interest in friendship. Cordelia is genuinely excited to be spending time with Harmony again, and in recovering her powerful and ruthless high school self.

Sorry guys--no be-pantied pillow fight.

However, when Harmony drops subtle hints (you do have to invite me to your house, I'm not the same girl I used to be) and not-so-subtle hints (showing up in Cordy's bedroom at night, talking about how delicious she looks), Cordelia assumes she's a "big lesbo." This rather tasteless attempt at homophobic humor is thankfully defused by the fact that she says it to Willow.

Sigh.

DO look for authenticity. Though this episode is a bit of a throwaway in terms of the season-long arc, the more I think about it, the more tightly it's written (thanks, David Fury). The Monster of This Week is a Tony Robbins-esque vamp motivational speaker and self-help guru, who promotes a pyramid scheme neatly encapsulated by the slogan "turn two, the rest is food."

It's a pitch-perfect parody.

The way these types of groups tend to foster a false sense of intimacy, both emotional and financial, sets us up nicely for . . .

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

DO remember that on this show, a soul matters. And a credit card. Angel warns Cordy that Harmony is bound to turn on her, because she has no soul. The complicated metaphysics of ensoulment on Buffy aside, Angel is right on the money here. Harmony turns the Angelites over to Tony Robbins, and they only narrowly escape (of course--do they ever escape by a wide margin?). Cordy decides to spare Harmony, though they are no longer BFFs. And Angel's last act of interpersonal atonement? He buys Cordelia a ton of clothes. She does a happy dance, in which Angel joins her, in a moment Jenn terms disturbing yet priceless.

And makes the happy Angel face.

"Epiphany" (Angel 2.16): Lindsey Goes Medieval on Angel's Ass

For Jenn and I both, the title of this episode always recalls James Joyce. Angel experiences nothing that approximates the realization of human futility that befalls the young protagonist of "Araby" or the older protagonist of "The Dead," but some stuff still gets realized by the undead protagonist of our little show. So let's go over what we learned, shall we?

If you're a blonde, DON'T have sex with Angel when it's raining. If you're Buffy, it means your sweet, broody boyfriend has become a demon.

If you're Darla in "Epiphany," it means your bitter, tortured frenemy doesn't turn back into a demon, but rather realizes what an ass he's been lately and actually becomes nicer.

Bummer.

DO realize that sometimes the Powers that Be are assholes. Cordelia has been tricked into acting as bait by the "eye in the back of the head" demons, which she realizes via vision from the PtB . . . seconds before the assault actually occurs.

Thanks.

For me, the Skilosh demons treatment of Cordy feels squeamishly close to rape, but the point isn't so much Cordelia's plight as much as getting Angel, Wesley, and Gunn fighting (uneasily) on the same team again.

DON'T forget that you can take the boy out of Texas, but, well, you know. For me, this episode belongs to one man.

I know that the key narrative development is the reunion of Angel Investigations, but I will love it most for featuring Lindsey,

in a bitchin' car,

wielding a sledgehammer and aiming to kick some vampire ass.

I want him to be the next Bachelor.

Jenn points out that this episode, though ushering in the fun of the Pylea episodes that conclude season 2, also inextricably points toward the sucky slogfest that are seasons 3 & 4. So enjoy it while you can, folks.

Aslo, Kate gets saved. Whatevs.

"Reprise" (Angel 2.15): Why You Shouldn't Booty Call an Ex During an Existential Crisis

Remember the earlier prefixed "Re" episodes form this season? "Reunion"? "Redefinition"? They were all a bit Darla-centric, yes? Well, this episode is called "Reprise" for a reason. As Jenn puts it, there's only one big "DON'T" in this ep, and I referenced it in the title of the post. But before we get there, quite a few RElationship hazards are REhearsed in this Angel guide to getting your heart broken fifty ways from Sunday.

DON'T nurse a crush on a vengeful vamp. Poor Lindsey. Poor, poor Lindsey. He's still carrying a flame for Darla, though she's just using him for a place to crash, regrow her skin, and drink all the free blood he provides for her. In some ways, Lindsey the Whipped is making the same mistake as Angel--believing Darla can be REdeemed.

She's rolling her eyes at his despair. It's fairly hilarious.

Jenn also points out how this episode reminds us that Lindsey really struggles with his evil responsibilities at W&H. Whereas it comes as natural as breathing to Lilah, angsty Lindz has to shower after work everyday. And this seems a good place to note how much I look forward to when he sings at Lorne's.

DON'T fall for a girl who can't handle the heat. Poor Wesley. His rich and hot ginger gf Virginia gets out gets out of the kitchen in this episode. Wes's recent gunshot wound from the weak sauce zombie cops makes her realize that she can't love someone whom she very well might lose.

Your loss, Ginny.

DON'T be snookered by a dead man. The climax of this episode is, for me, both very cool and a bit of a cheat. Angel goes to some trouble to REtrieve a magical glove to defeat an embodied blah blah blah; what he wants is to visit the "home office" of Wolfram & Hart. And who shows up to guide him? None other than Holland Manners!

Death becomes you, big guy!

As they take a long elevator ride down (natch), accompanied with a cheeky instrumental, HM gives Angel the standard "we're the embodiment of evil" speech. It would have been nice if he quoted his soulmate and deflated the diatribe as Buff did to the First in "Amends": "All right, I get it, you're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?"

The big REveal is that the home office is . . . Earth itself! Everyone's unredeemable and fallen! Angel's quest is doomed! And while I like the shock of the elevator opening to the same street scene they left, I think Angel's walk through L.A., hearing people fight and whatnot, isn't quite enough to sell the idea that everyone is crap. I mean, hasn't he seen enough of love and sacrifice at this point to look for and believe in the best in people? People with souls? But the main point is his REsponse--getting laid.

DON'T, well, see title. My freshman year in college, my friend Dana told me that the two words I should get comfortable with using were "fuck" and "it." Angel responds in a similar manner to his newfound existential despair.

And by "it," I mean Darla.

He figures that if we're all screwed (pun intended), well, why not just be Angelus already?

I don't mean to be glib (much). It's a huge moment in the series and in Angel's psychic development. And just in case anyone isn't familiar with the REpercussions of this little assignation I won't reproduce the chain of events Jenn details, but trust me, it ain't good.

Gross case in awkward point.

Oh, and Kate might have killed herself and Cordy is heading to her certain doom. It was a rough week.

"The Thin Dead Line" (Angel 2.14): Ezra Pound Edition

If you've ever had the pleasure of reading Ezra Pound's annotations on early drafts of T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land, you know he was a) a great editor (il miglior fabbro indeed) and b) a bit of a shit. One passage is marked, and I'm paraphrasing, Pope did it before. If you can't do it better, don't. Which brings us to this week's episode of Angel, in which weak sauce zombie cops threaten teenagers. Basically every major move of the episode has been done better (not by Pope, and not necessarily before, but still). For example:

Episode: Angel continues his co-dependent and self-destructive relationship with a blonde in a position of power, going to Kate the Boring for help with reports of violent L.A. cops, and doing some research in a graveyard.

Where it was done better:

There is only one blonde Angel needs to hang out with in graveyards when he's feeling co-dependent and self-destructive.

Episode: The teens at Anne's shelter describe the abusive cops to Gunn, whom she has commissioned for help, using borderline offensive "ghetto speak." Wince along with me as you read this transcript:



RAY
The cops are trippin', G. GUNN
Define "trippin'" for me. CALLIE
Out for blood. Les here got her arm
busted up. RAY
Cops stopped me few nights back, went
for his gun looking to put a cap in my
ass. If I ain't outrun the doughnut-eatin'
dude, I wouldn't be sitting here talking
to you. 

Where it was done better: Oh, the possibilities are endless, but let's go with Attack the Block.

Episode: One of the clues that the cops are zombies being puppet-mastered by some unknown force is the way they mindlessly recite Miranda rights despite being beaten right and good by a vampire.

The way the decapitated head kept talking was another clue.

Where it was done better: If you're going to monkey with Miranda, it begins and ends with 21 Jump Street.

Episode: Wes gets gut-shot by a zombie cop, and has to hole up in Anne's shelter while some more zombie cops storm the place.

To be fair, this was a pretty shocking moment.

Where it was done better: Well, if we're going for an injured Scooby in a house under siege, how's about this?

Xander's funny syphilis!

Or, if you prefer to focus on zombies attacking a house, we not only have this:

Ain't no party like a "Dead Man's Party."

But also, of course, this:

The classic.

Or Jesus, even this:

What I did like about the episode was the way that Gunn/Wesley/Cordelia worked one side of the zombie cop problem, while Angel worked the other, unknown to them, mostly by walking on a lot of rooftops. Which, as Jenn points out, we haven't seen in a while. They're getting closer to reconciling, methinks. But the audience is left with kind of an important question--what about the girl with the eye in the back of her head?

Pictured: A problem that doesn't seem that urgent.

"Happy Anniversary" (Angel 2.13): It all comes from pain

Any and all hard-core Whedonites out there might recognize the subtitle's reference to Joss's response in "Commentary: The Musical" when asked where it (his inspiration) all comes from. "Happy Anniversary," with a story by His Whedonness and series co-creator David Greenwalt and a screenplay by Greenie, is a return to the heart-wrenching despair that made Angel into the tortured brooding lurker we know and love today. I really enjoyed this Angel guide to getting your heart broken so hard it damn near ends the world.

DO trust a scientist to be a scientist. As Jenn remarks, "Criminal mastermind or depressed, heartbroken, physicist--what's the difference?" As the angry villager in Young Frankenstein remarks, "Scientists, they're all alike! They say they're working for us, but what they really want is to rule the world!" The pro- and antagonist of this episode, Gene the genius physicist graduate student, is so busy with his experiment to try and freeze an instant of time, he doesn't notice how he's neglecting his hot ginger girlfriend Denise.

Pictured: The avatar of destruction and danger. Trust me.

Naturally, when he overhears her plan to break up with him, he decides to use his skillz to stop time before she gets the chance.

DO trust a dude to be a dude. The moment he chooses? Not during the lovely dinner he prepared for her in his apartment in which no physicist graduate student would ever live.

Seriously, when was the last time you were in a male graduate student's apartment that had wall sconces and a well-appointed foyer?

Not during the exchange of anniversary gifts. No no no. He selects the, ahem, climactic moment of what Denise terms "the sympathy bone."

Yeah, that moment.

DO trust a fundamentalist to be a fundamentalist. Lorne, who Jenn notes really transitions in this episode from a marginal player to a major Angel Scooby (We are in desperate need of a good name for Angel's crew. Any ideas?), alerts Angel to his psychic apprehension that the world is going to end because of Gene's little experiment. As the duo hilariously try to track Gene down before the sympathy bone, they run into a sect of Lubber demons determined to extend Gene's time bubble over the entire earth, thereby removing humans from the space-time continuum.

Attention people who understand "science": Does this look like an equation to freeze time? Jonathan? Paul? Anybody?

As far as I'm concerned, it's just an excuse to watch Lorne fight.

He sings them into submission. It's rad.

DO trust Angel to be Angel. During the pursuit, Lorne calls out Angel on his abandonment of his friends. He in turn invites Lorne to a pity party, bemoaning being Wolfram & Hart's whipping post, how wrong things went with Darla, and his despair at never being able to atone for his crimes as Angelus. After preventing the demons from extending Gene's freeze ray (Another Dr. Horrible shout-out), and allowing Denise to break up with him, the boys enjoy some sorrow drowning. Angel's analysis, "The guy's a disaster at love. Nearly destroyed the world. I can relate" was a highlight for both Jenn and me.

Angel's "been there, done that" face."

Meanwhile, back at Angel Investigations, we have another throwback that Jenn noted. There's a hilarious parody of an Agatha Christie-style murder mystery reveal, with Wesley running down clues and suspects in the parlor of an old manor house.

Wesley, laying out some circumstantial evidence.

More key? Just when Angel seems ready to reach out, it seems the gang is ready to move on.

"Blood Money" (Angel 2.12): Strategery

Though this episode might not be as totally kick-ass satisfying as the concomitant Buffy offering of "Checkpoint," it does have some nice moments. It's like someone who is maybe not such a great writer nevertheless really tried to do something smart with "Blood Money" and almost got there. Seems to me, this one is all about how to strategize in order to get what you want.

DO refer to your Klingon proverbs. Or French ones. Whatever. But serving up your revenge cold is always preferable. Mr. Boone, Angel's nemesis from back in the day, has patiently bided (bidden?) his time to settle who's the best fighter, mano-a-mano.

Or demonio-a-demonio-con-alma, as the case may be.

He looks to Wolfram & Hart for help in getting Angel alone, which Lindsey is happy to provide. Which brings me to . . .

DON'T let your emotions muddy your calculations. Lindsey. Though his reply to Lilah's point that they technically aren't supposed to kill Angel, "Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand," is undoubtedly the best line of the show, it does demonstrate that he's too personally invested in getting Angel at all costs. This leads him to make stupid mistakes, like not realizing that Angel is freaking right behind him at the charity ball.

Lindsey must not have been given Where's Waldo? books as a child.

DO let the ends justify the means. Guess who's back, y'all!

Remember Chanterelle?

And Lily/Anne?

She's all growed up

with much better hair and make-up

and running a shelter for at-risk youth, which is pretty cool. It's also pretty hard to do without any money, so she's willing to get in bed with Wolfram & Hart (which is different than getting into bed with Lindsey, which I think would be easier to forgive), Angel, scary blue demon guy, whoever, in order to keep the shelter running. So when Angel brings her money that is literally drenched in blood (I said the writing was *almost* smart), serious as a heart attack she replies, "It'll wash."

You're going to fit right in.

 
Jenn has a good read on this: "This is an effectively disturbing philosophical stance that works well with Angel's progression away from fighting the good fight."

DO remember that making someone look stupid can be the best revenge. Angel runs a bit of a long con in this episode, enlisting Boone as a double agent for Wolfram & Hart and convincing Lindsey, Lilah, and Anne that he has proof of their plans to steal Anne's money. Turns out all he has is fairly hilarious footage of Cordy running lines for a milk commercial and Wesley stripping, but he does manage to goad L & L into acting like fools at the charity ball. Which I guess is worth it? This is where the episode sort of falls apart for me. Why would Lindsey go to all the trouble of befriending Anne, putting on a fake charity ball, and then skimming the profits off the top? Isn't Wolfram & Hart better at getting money than that? And footage of the two of them running through a crowd of people is a devastating blow?

Pictured: Abject and soul-crushing humiliation.

Whatevs. The charity ball itself is totally worth it for the snarky comments from the actors who were hired to play cowboys, such as "I'm going to fire my agent," and the party guest who asks one of the actresses why they turned her character gay. Has to be a Willow reference, yes?

DO keep your eyes on the prize. Another almost clever element of the episode was its opening comic scene of a Risk game between Wes and Gunn

Strategy! Toldja!

that transitions into a battle with a, sigh, fire-farting demon, and its penultimate scene of the long-awaited fight between Angel and Boone, which I think is a dramatic rewrite of the game.

There's also Western-esque gunfight camera work that I suspect is also an *almost* smart re-write of the comic "Highway Robbery" fundraiser.

Jenn notes that this juxtaposition pretty unfairly and counterproductively makes Wes and Gunn buffoons. Again I say, *almost* smart.