Monday, September 24, 2012

Emmy Awards 2012

Instead of live-blogging I decided to transcribe some texts that occurred between me and my friend Kate while watching the red carpet coverage on E!. As usual I started this way behind so it jumps around a bit at the beginning.  It'll be like a little game to see if you can follow along.

There are lots of links, mostly to Red Carpet Fashion Awards.  I don't always agree with her opinions but she gets great pics.

Red Carpet:
Me: Kat Dennings is on the carpet and so are her twins!!
Kate: Stiletto cam? Really?
Kate: Yikes, those are some twins
Kate: Aaaaand a lame Amanda Bynes joke from Fallon
Me: They have a manicure cam.  It's like a tiny red carpet diorama.  (I ended up thinking this was kind of cute, actually)
Me: I love Jenna Malone's dress and silver shoes
Kate: Ginnifer dress, not feeling it
Me:: Bless Leslie Mann for wearing orange (the beginning of lots of oranges and yellows!)
Me: Oooo! Parma (shoulda been Padma but my dumb phone isn't aware of Top Chef) too!  Yikes Glenn Close looks severe.  Like an older dominatrix
Kate:: Lots of good looking orange actually! Padma looked great
Me: Heidi looks stunning.  Yay!  Jesse Tyler Ferg's fiance looks less hairy (this stems from a conversation we had on Friday while looking through Us magazine and noting his slightly hirsute fiance)
Me: Just spotted Goodwin.  It's, uh, different at least.  She looks so bitter all the time.
Kate: I was thinking both of those things! He does look cleaned up and yet Ginnifer always looks like she's got something up her butt
Kate: Plus I know way too much about her to ever like her because my mom worked with her step mom
Kate: heard about her constantly

Me: The girl from mod damn (shoulda been fam) is adorable but seems nervous in the mani cam (her hand was shaking a lot)
Kate: Tina Fey looks gorgeous
Me: Edie Falco looks great. Can't wait to see Tina (I'm still a good five minutes behind at this point)
Kate: also I'm surprised to see Anna Chlumsky, she looks awesome
Me: Tina looks lovely
Me: re: Chlumsky, love when child star turns out ok!
Kate: yes and I love the little detail on the back of her dress, little bow
Me: Heidi and her leg!  Whoa.
Kate: I know right!
Me: WTH is Hayden Panettone wearing?!?!? Geeze I hate Marchesa.
Kate: Oh my god Elizabeth moss
Kate: just you wait
Kate: January Jones looks gross.  So skinny.
Me: I hate January Jones so very much!
Kate: Me too. She is just so unpleasant.
Me: Yup
Kate: whoa Sophia
Me: I wish Melissa McCarthy could find a fantastic dress
Kate:: I know. I mean it wasn't terrible but it was not great either
Kate: ok just saw Hayden. She looks like she's dressing up as Cleopatra for Halloween
Me:: so bizarre
Kate: truly
Me: I love that McCarthy is wearing her daughter's ring.
Me:: Just saw Vergara. They still don't know how to wrangle her boobs. (my phone wanted to change boobs to blobs)
Kate: it's a very strappy dress but there's quite a bit of jungle
Kate: jiggle
Me: Yikes!
Me: Elisabeth Moss!!!
Me: Holy wow!
Kate: I know, right! What happened?
Kate: It's a perfect storm of awful
Me: Jan Jones. The hair, the eyes. Hate, hate, hate
Kate: and the attitude hate hate hate
Me: Awful person.
Kate: truly
(Wow, we REALLY can't stand her.  So much vitriol towards someone we don't even know.  We're totally  right though.)
Kate: o no Juliana Margulies no
Kate: speaking of boobs Christina Hendriks and her shelf are on
Me: Just got a look at her.  She really looks like the front of a ship (figurehead was the word that didn't come to me at that point)
Kate: yes yes that is the perfect description
Kate: alright where are the game of Thrones people
Kate:  oo Michael J Fox I still love him
Kate: what the hell is Claire Danes wearing. I mean I know she's pregnant but that's no excuse
Me: Ew! What is she wearing?!?!?
Me: Yellow is not her color
Me:: It's a sack with a drawstring
Kate: yeah and tablecloth is not her shape
Me: Thankfully Lucy Liu and her Versace are a palate cleanser
Kate: yes very much so
Me: her dress looks as uncomfy and danes' was comfy
Kate: very very true
Kate: Zooey Deschanel's boobs were being pinched by her dress
Me: Zooey's is what one would call a confection
Kate: yes light and sugary all at once
Me: Krakowski looks nice
Kate: yes and she molested the diorama
Me: Lena Headey is a wackadoo but she's very pretty
Kate: agreed
Kate: oh no Nicole
Kate: she's playing Grace Kelly?
Kate: not sure how I feel about that.
Me: I do not like that dress
Kate: me either. Grace Kelly would never have worn that
Me: nope
Kate: Julie Bowen looks very southern California
Me: and yet she's from Baltimore
Kate: Her Sofia Vergara impression is hilarious
Me: When she's not glammed up I can picture her on a sailboat on the Chesapeake
Me: perfect impression of Vergara
Kate: Oh for sure making crab cakes for the kids
Kate: Okay Kristin Wiig needs to stop wearing washed out beige dresses
Me: Heh
Me: Wiig should fire her stylist. It's a problem
Kate: seriously it's like the same look in the dark hair and dark eyeliner

Show time:
Kate the opening bit was good
Me: love that Ellen had pants for him!

Me: GAH!!! I just saw Mr. Bates!!!
Kate saw him and got excited too!

Kate: are they for real with the cheesy trivia for the winners

Me: Jon Cryer?!?!? Really?!?! I demand a recount! Mom says he should be wearing lederhosen.
Kate thank you, yes I agree. I can't believe he won

Kate okay Tom Bergeron's speech was funny
Me: He is very quick and usually snarky (two of my fave qualities in a person)
Kate: I was pleasantly surprised
Me: He's the best part of Dancing with the (?)Stars(?)
Cumberbatch! with bonus Freeman!
Kate I like the way you write that title

Me: Yay Maggie Smith!
Kate Yay for McGonagall!

Me: Cumberbatch!!
Kate I want to have his babies
Me: Right?!?!
Kate We can share him :)  He looks like he has stamina

Thus ends the texts for the evening.  I mean, how could it surpass the Cumberbatch sighting?

A few odds and ends:
-Holy crap, how did we miss Ashley Judd?!?!
-I'm still shocked that Mad Men was shut out completely.
-I'm sad that Downton Abbey didn't sweep but then I'm terribly biased.
-For some reason I was under the impression that the Hatfield and McCoy's TV movie sucked but I guess it was ok.  Kevin Costner should think about what he's going to say before it exits his mouth.  What was that stuff about the Emmy reminding him of the Olympics?!?!
- I'll never understand why they recognize mediocre work but then sometimes get it totally right, as with the wins for Homeland. (more on Homeland this week so check back)

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