Thursday, September 20, 2012

Survivor: Philippines

Right off the bat we're treated with gorgeous shots of Philippines (the Philippines? Help!) and then host Jeff Probst on a speedboat.  Natch.  Jeff explains that this season we'll have three tribes of 6 including three ringers who left their respective seasons for medical reasons.  I find myself chanting quietly, as if in prayer, 'Not Colton.  Please not Colton." It wasn't!  Instead we got Russell Swan who managed to knock himself out during a challenge, Michael Scupin who passed out right into a fire and lost a lot of skin on his hands (EW!), and Jonathan Penner (love him!) who I think got some sort of infection.  There aren't as many pretty boys as last season and there doesn't seem to be a large age range either (youngest 20; oldest 53).

First Impressions:
(l to r)
Blue Team aka Matsing
Malcolm: He seems like an all-around good guy. He's handy around camp but lets Russell get the attention.  Smart!
Angie: Terribly cute, terribly blond, terribly Mormon (most likely), and a former Miss Teen Utah.
Russell: Proclaims right away that he doesn't want to be in a leadership role and then almost immediately starts giving people jobs and telling them how to do said jobs.
Roxy: very cute and a seminary student.  Don't know much about her yet but she seems nice enough.
Zane: OMG!  Zane is hilarious.  He has a tattoo of Frankenstein's monster on his arm and goes into this long explanation of how the monster picked a flower for the little girl but then strangled her, which is how he wants to play the game or somesuch.  Also, he spends the first few hours at camp making alliances with EVERYONE.
Denise: sex therapist and can read people like a book.  She's gonna be tough and could play a good mind game.

Yellow Team aka Tandan
Michael: Such a sweet guy but soooo totally accident prone.  It's adorable that he doesn't think he is.  If he stays away from serious injury he could last longer than the 18 days he was in the Australian Outback.

RC: very girlie and squeal-y;  Plus she's hiding the fact that she's a Wall St. banker
Artis: Don't know much about this guy except that he's the oldest player.  
Lisa: BLAIR WARNER RULES!  Michale is her biggest fan.  Actually Jeff Probst said on Jimmy Fallon that she's his favorite player so far.  Apparently she will really struggle a lot with being a conniving player and trying to be a good example to her kids.
Pete: Don't know much about this guy but he gets pulled into the girlie alliance.
Abi-Maria: Brazilian and flirty; in a girlie alliance with RC

Red Team aka Kalabaw
Jeff: ex-baseball player and evades mentioning this because everyone will assume he's loaded and doesn't need the money.  He's right when he says the person who wins shouldn't be the winner just because they're needy.
Katie: Who?  I have no idea who this is.  She's cute and brunette but forgettable.
Jonathan: Listen, dude was in my favorite 'liberals think they're better than everyone else' movie.
Dawson: I like this girl.  She's smart as a whip (totally recognizes Jeff because of an ex of hers who was a baseball fan) and I think will go far if she plays this just right.  She's my #1 right now.
Carter: I totally thought this was a girl for some reason. I probably shouldn't admit that.  Anyway, I don't think he spoke once during this episode.
Dana: I like this girl too.  She's tough in a southern girl way and describes herself as "punked-out and spiky girl."

Immunity Challenge:
There are two idols up for grabs and because this is the first challenge of the season, there are variations of fire-starting materials too.  The tribes are to split themselves into 3 groups of 2.  Each pair will be responsible for one leg of the challenge: a run into the woods to retrieve paddles, a row into the ocean to retrieve a box, and to put the final puzzle together.  Angie and Roxy offer to do the running part but Russell ignores them and forces them to do the puzzle, even after Angie declares to be TERRIBLE at puzzles.  This will go well.  Russell has to pull Zane (who is in terrible shape) along and the blue team loses.  It's a tight race between red and yellow with red pulling off the win (probably because of Jonathan's puzzle skills). 

Post-challenge, Zane pretty much offers himself up for the Survivor gods as the first torch to be extinguished.  Angie, the imperious cheerleader, won't accept this and tells him to fight.  Mostly the group has been talking about ousting Russell because he's already had his chance.  Plus, he's like totally bossy.

@ Tribal:
Jeff asks his incredibly appropriate questions and they are answered.  Russell is saved and poor Zane is not.  I guess Angie had a change of heart, fat lot of good her words of encouragement did for Zane.

Zane, the tribe has spoken.  You were funny and probably could have gotten a lot further if only you had quit smoking a while ago.

Mom's quote of the night: "They keep showing WAY too many snakes."   

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