Community and 30 Rock - Didja watch?

Didja watch Community "Pillows and Blankets?"
 - Greendale was the site of the largest and longest pillow fight in community college history.  A narrator tells us this so we should believe him.  Plus a number of participants are interviewed about it, which verifies what the narrator says.

- Annie acted as a medic; Brita took blurry and poorly framed photos; Jeff inspired many with his words (mostly to avoid a test); Shirley kicked ass; and Pierce didn't do much of anything.

- The Dean has a camera crew and wants Jeff to mediate (and fix) Troy and Abed.  Easier said than done, Dean.

- Narrator gives us an infographic (!) of how the battles went down.  Abed is in New Fluffytown while Troy and Blanketsburg secede.  New Fluffytown becomes Pillowtown (for the sake of conceptual symmetry).  Troy issues Abed an "all tomato," as in the whole tomato or nothing at all.  If Abed doesn't comply then the battles begin at midnight.

- Pierce shows Abed his weapon, a doomsday device...a pillow man who is unstoppable and plush.  Chang brings in the Changlorious Basterds (his pre-teen security interns) and it's an all-out war.


- Jeff tries to fix them but Troy and Abed decide the friendship is over and whoever wins gets the apartment, the loser must move out.  The guy from Guinness World Records cancels (because he got fired - the biggest mistake in the world...in his words).  The war ends but not for Troy and Abed.  They keep fighting until there's an actual winner.  Jeff gives it one last shot and fixes them.  Yay!  He also learns an important lesson about war.  Isn't that nice.


Didja watch 30 Rock "Nothing Left to Lose?"  (I miss Parks and Rec, y'all)

- Everyone does self-evaluations for Kabletown (which are filmed).  Jenna's evaluation was the most honest but that's because she was on pills that were washed down with alcohol.  Jack is concerned for Pete who can't say where he'll be in 5 years.  Pete's ok with this but Jack isn't so he takes him under his wing and tries to make a man of Pete.

- Tracy has no sense of smell.  Dr. Spaceman (!) finds an old decoder ring stuck up his nose, which has possibly been there since the 70s.  Did I ever tell you guys about the time I stuck raisins up my nose?  Not pretty.  Anywhoodle, Tracy regains his sense of smell, which evokes all sorts of memories from childhood.  It's doesn't help that Liz uses the same hair pomade that Tracy's dad used.  In a desperate attempt to please his dad, Tracy does everything Liz asks and she rides this wave for a while until it totally screws him up.  It doesn't take long.  It is Tracy we're talking about.

- Jenna gets pranked by the writers (to dress up like Smurfette) so she pranks them back only to get pranked again by them.

Raising Hope, New Girl and Breaking In - Didja watch?

Didja watch Raising Hope "Sabrina's New Jimmy?"

- Sabrina is studying with a cute guy from class and Jimmy gets jealous.  He wants Burt and Virginia to help him find out if the guy is into Sabrina but Burt thinks they've already invested too much time into their relationship.  They help and there's a plan involving phones and switching numbers and it all goes haywire.  Naturally.  Really I was way more interested in...

- Shelley & Sabrina's house!  Shelley decorated it with things she bought from SkyMall (and I bet there are people in the world who have done that exact same thing).  We didn't get enough of a tour but there were things like a hot rod couch, a pizza clock and the piece de resistance...the dancing, coconut shell covered boobs.  Imagine that big mouth billy bass thing but boobs.  They dance around while the song "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" plays.  Burt wants them and wears Sabrina down.  He calls them the "not so tiny dancers" and loves the fact that they take DD batteries (pictured above).  Hope's into 'em too and pretends she has a lovely bunch of coconuts.  Burt sees her future on a pole and gets rid of the dancing boobs.

- Sabrina gets a new study buddy who actually seems into her and Jimmy tells her that since she likes to have back-ups of everything maybe she's keeping a back-up boyfriend too.  She realizes he's right (that never happens) but then my stupid DVR cut off.  This is what I get for not watching things live.


Didja watch New Girl "Secrets?"  Didja laugh as much as I did?

- Jess shows up at Cece's for a run but Cece is trying really hard to get rid of her.  She uses the excuse that her roommate (also a model) accidentally ate a cookie (by falling on it) and is devastated.  The real truth is that a half-naked Schmidt is hiding in the couch.  There's this whole thing with the third model roommate chanting "Jew in the couch!" but I can't do it justice.

- Nick is having issues getting rid of his college-aged, overnight guests and needs some guidance. But before we can get to that Winston breaks and tells Nick that Schmidt and Cece having been sleeping together.  Nick freaks, finds out Jess is the only one who doesn't know and then blabs to her the minute she walks in the door.  Predictably she freaks too.

- Back to Nick's problem, he goes to Schmidt, a leader in douchebaggery, for help with his college chicks.   Jess busts in during a douchey training session and declares that she doesn't want there to be secrets anymore.  Then it comes out that the guys have periodically used her image to help them, uh, complete (and if you don't know what I mean it's too bad; I'm not telling you).

- Cece tries to apologize to Jess but she literally runs away from her.  It's pretty funny. Jess doesn't want any secrets with Cece until Cece starts telling her the ones she's been keeping all these years.  Meanwhile Nick's overnight guest has a run-in with a guest (Cerie from 30 Rock) from the night before who is back looking for her scarf.  They start yelling at each other, Jess and Cece start yelling at each other and poor Winston just wants sleep.  He gets rid of the girls by telling them he and Nick are on the D.L. and it's hilarious but again I can't do it justice.

- Jess and Cece are doing a charity 10k and during it Jess realizes Cece actually likes Schmidt.  She apologizes and lets Cece in on the fact that she likes Schmidt.  Randomly David Wain runs by and that makes me giggle for no real reason.  Cece and Schmidt have a cute morning cooking together and I think I dropped an audible "awww."


Didja watch Breaking In "Cyrano de Nerdgerac?"

- Molly is trying to get Veronica to focus and that's just about impossible.  Someone at Oz's pudding and he's convinced Veronica did it so the plan is to steal Molly away from her.  In the process we find out Molly's got a crush on Oz and why wouldn't she?  He's awesome.

- Oz needs her to dump him so he asks her on a date and has the guys walk him through it because if anyone can scare off a chick it's Cam and Cash.  Cash even puts him in a horrible tuxedo tee.  There's a funny little montage of Oz repeating everything Cash tells him to say and it cracked me up.  The plan doesn't work and Molly quits.

- In order to get her to stay Veronica tries to apologize for never really appreciating Molly but she screws it up.  It's a good thing Oz knew it was Molly's birthday and gives Veronica the credit.  Of course Molly figures out Oz was behind it and it seems like she's still got that crush afterall.

Didja watch Community and 30 Rock?

Didja watch Community “Contemporary Impressionists?”

 - The group, sans Jeff, catches up after their winter break.  Brita’s taking Intro to Human Psychology.  Look out!  Also…human psych?  What kind of psych has she been taking before now?  Jeff arrives as does the sexy.  He informs the group that his swagger has new swagger.  This is thanks to a new shrink who has him on anti-anxiety meds that have boosted his self-confidence.  Brita is concerned, y’all.

- Abed has been hiring actors to re-enact scenes with him from his favorite movies.  Chang, thinking he’s helping, shoots at them with a tranq gun.  The Dean tries to yell at him but Change squint pouts and this only makes the Dean feel hatred for Renee Zellweger.  YAY!  I love hatred for Zellweger! 

- Brita looked up Jeff’s meds and thinks he could be vulnerable to a syndrome called hyper-narcissocis and I have no idea how one would spell such a fake syndrome.  Jeff thinks she’s overreacting as is the Dean’s seizure at the sight of a sexy Jeff.

 - French Stewart shows up and he’s the owner of the celeb impersonator service that Abed’s been using.  He hires the group for a gig (Howie Schwartz’s Star Mitzvah!), which will cover Abed’s tab.  If they screw it up then Abed’s legs get broken by guys who look like Ving Rhames and Michael Chiklis.  Troy is concerned, y’all.

- At the Star Mitzvah Jeff is getting tons of compliments and his ego gets dangerously big.  The guy who played Not Moby on HIMYM is there playing…Moby.  He looks a lot like the Dean too, which confuses Chang.  There are awards at the Star Mitzvah and Howie wins them all.  This upsets Jeff’s ego because it thinks Jeff should win Most Handsome Young Man.  When he doesn’t the ego explodes and he hulks out.  It’s pretty great. 

- Troy’s pissed at Abed for wasting money on the celeb impersonators.  Abed’s upset that Troy lied to him about being angry and has some alone time in the dreamatorium.  Actually, that’s not accurate.  He has time with a goatee’d Abed in the dreamatorium.  Oh boy.

- And Chang gets his Patton on.

Didja watch 30 Rock "Grandmentor" and "Kidnapped by Danger?"

I did but I just don't really care about it. So here's a quickie recap:

- Jack made a TV movie in hopes of getting Avery back from North Korea; the best part of this storyline is his brother, William, playing actor Lance Drake Mandrell, who gets hired to play Jack in the TV movie.  He's pretty great at playing Alec playing Jack. 

- Hazel the page is creepy and puts Tracy's life in danger, which Kenneth has to fix.

- Kenneth is strange 

- Jenna is crazy.

Raising Hope, Cougar Town, New Girl and Breaking In - Didja watch?

Raising Hope “Poking Holes in the Story”

- One of Virginia’s clients needs a live-in to take care of his awful daughter while he’s away on business.  Did I mention she’s awful (the daughter not Virginia)?  ‘Cause she is.  However Virginia agrees to do it because they need quick money to replace Hope’s faulty bed and recalled toys. 

- Everyone misses Virginia, especially when it’s time to bathe Maw Maw.  She keeps thinking Jimmy is her dead husband so he goes with it because Maw Maw makes him breakfast, gives him a foot rub and all he has to do is kiss her (closed lips!). 

- Burt sneaks in to see Virginia and they find out that awful girl had a boy sneak in too.  Virginia shows her what teen sex and pregnancy can lead to.  Awful girl wants a life of her own after high school so she dumps her boyfriend.  This bums Burt out so he shows them the good stuff about being teens in love.

- Virginia gives awful girl one last talking to and adds in that if she does get knocked up and her boyfriend stays, she’ll always wonder if it’s out of guilt or because he really does love her.  Burt can’t keep his mouth shut any longer and admits he poked a hole in their condom all those years ago because he figured it was the only way he could get her to marry him.  That’s sweet.  Totally twisted and wrong but still kinda sweet.

Cougar Town (aka You know what would be cooler than this title card bit? A new title.) “Something Big”

- Greyson was a ho-bag so it’s hard for Jules to escape his exes.  She proves her point and one of them comes running.  He’s even got a lost & found bang box..

- Ellie goes surfing to get some alone time.  Really it’s just her sitting on a surfboard but it’s just as annoying when she runs into Bobby.

- Jules wants pre-marital counseling to ensure they’re heading into marriage with no baggage.  Their therapist is Nicole Sullivan!  Love her!

- Laurie misses Travis and all the doting on her he used to do.  She makes a few attempts at getting him to leave the house but to no avail.  Plus the helmet is kind of a buzzkill.

- Jules and Greyson think they’re baggage free until the ex from earlier shows up with a kid…Greyson’s kid.  Yep, that’s baggage.  The little girl’s name is TAMPA!  And Laurie’s her god-mother.  Poor thing.  Jules correctly insists on a paternity test and they plan out their Maury reactions.

- Bobby offers to teach Ellie to surf but Andy warns him that she’s un-teachable.  This proves to be true but Bobby sticks it out and she catches a wave!

- Laurie teaches Travis’s roommate to step dance (he’s pledging an African American fraternity) and turns out Travis is pretty good, but won’t leave the house.  Also, he got tired of being in love with Laurie and having no hope of a relationship.  She gets it but also misses the attention he gave her.  He gives in and dances for her, which I’m hoping also helped his roommate get into the frat.

- The paternity test comes back and…Greyson, you are the father.  Jules isn’t sure they can get through this but Ellie helps her think it through and all is well.  So Greyson is a dad!

New Girl “Fancyman Pt. 1”

(the “Pt. 1” of this episode concerns me because maybe that means the fancyman is only going to be around for 2 episodes and I want him to be around more than that.)

- Nick is trying to get a new phone but his credit score is 250, which cracks up all the employees and customers at the phone store.  Jess tries to convince him that not having a cell phone could be his thing.  Really he just gets down about rich people and their rich people life styles.

- Schmidt is a trivia god and this makes Winston feel inferior in front of his girlfriend, who was with them at the bar for trivia night. So Winston studies useless trivia and is quizzed by the kid he’s babysitting.  It’s cute but he totally blows it.  Doesn't matter though because his girlfriend likes him just the way he is.  Awww!

- Speaking of cute…Jess meets with a parent of one of her students and it’s Dermot Mulroney!  Mmmm hmmm.  He’s not thrilled with her curriculum and thinks there should be more math and less art.  The principal (Rachel Harris!) thinks Jess should apologize because he’s a rich donor.

- Jess is on a mission to give Dermot a piece of her mind when her car breaks down near his office and causes a large tie-up.  He just happens to be driving by and very generously offers his car to her and then even invites her to a cook-out at his house.  Handsome, wealthy AND generous?!?!  There’s got to be something wrong with him, right?  I mean guys like that don’t exist without being a puppy slaughterer in their spare time.  Right?

- Cece correctly tells Jess she’s just intimidated by a man who has his life together and doesn’t need her to take care of him.  Jess brings Nick to the party but he’s no help because he gets sucked in by the beautiful house.  Dermot (who has a character name but may not be around long enough to need it) actually gives Nick his phone and the sweater Nick’s wearing without permission.  Nick promptly falls in love with him and thinks Jess should give him a chance.  She does and accepts his dinner invitation and then falls into a fountain.  Oh and this was after being attacked by his Japanese toilet (she had it up to 6 happy faces!)

Breaking In “The Blind Sided”

- The gang at Contra have a job catching a hacker who turned the lights on a building into a videogame. Cool.

- Cam’s crush on Mel is going nowhere, no matter how hard Cash tries to get them together through suggestions of epic gestures.  In fact Mel shoots him down point blank and tells him to give up.  Of course the two of them get stuck on a stakeout in front of the hacker’s house.

- Speaking of the hacker, he turns out to be a 14 year old kid (that kid from Role Models…you know him) who brings them Pop Tarts in the morning. 

- Veronica puts her foot down and won’t let Oz bust the kid.  She talks to his mom (holy crap, isthat Jaleesa?!?! I feel old) who let’s Veronica have her “Blind Side” moment with him.  Wow, that’s kinda racist.  She even brings the kid to Contra as an intern.  He proceeds to steal stuff and hack corporate.  Oops.  Luckily Oz threatens him into returning the stolen stuff and letting Veronica get her Blind Side moment. 

- Oz tries to explain to Cam about Mel and emotions and Mel’s fear of emotions and Cam gets it. He even tries to let Mel off the hook but apparently that works for her in a way that paying attention to her doesn't. She finally kisses Cam and they do it.  In a car.  And then she leaves!  Poor Cam.

How I Met Your Mother and 2 Broke Girls - Didja watch?

Didja watch HIMYM “The Broath?”

- Barney’s been missing for a couple of weeks but pops back up to tell Ted a secret.  Before Ted can know the secret he has to take The Bro Oath, or The Broath.  They wear robes and there are monks chanting in the background.  It’s serious.  Barney doesn’t want Ted to tell the others what Quinn does for a living. Too bad Ted can’t keep a secret.

-The group doesn’t know if they can trust Quinn because she’s controlling and obviously is using him for his money.  However she is moving out of her apartment and in with Barney so Robin and Ted are all over that.  Robin’s been staying with her co-worker, Patrice and Ted’s been living in university housing.  He has even found replicas of him, Lily and Marshall.

- They figure it’s intervention time, er Quinntervention time, because they’re only looking out for his best quinnterests.  Barney schools Ted on the history of broken broaths dating way back to guys in togas.  Quinn is pretty pissed that Barney was ashamed of what she does and the gang feels guilty.  Robin admits to Ted that she’s possibly losing her job because she’s been so distracted at work lately because she’s lost her best friend, blah, blah.  I just don’t care about these two anymore!!!  She says some crap about going back to being normal friends but he can’t or something.

- They go to apologize to Barney and he makes them take an oath and kiss each other (girl/girl and guy/guy) to make it up to him.  Quinn’s there and it turns out she and Barney planned the whole thing. 

- Instead of getting fired Robin gets a promotion and finds a place on the westside.  Ted gets Quinn’s place and he and Robin try to do normal, or their version of but apparently it doesn’t last because he doesn’t see her for a while. 

- Also, hypothetically, Quinn would stop stripping if she got married.  So marinate on that, Barney.

Didja watch 2 Broke Girls “And the Spring Break?”

 - The girls have a new website but no orders are coming in so Caroline is pretty bummed.  Also, it’s 3am and Oleg has dropped by to borrow sensual oils for sexy time with Sophie.  Ew.

- The gay couple from the baking class episode (who are also their only past customer) are back and not only think Han is gay but also have a “rice queen” to set him up with.  Max assures Caroline this is a step up from the people who think Han is a lesbian.  Ha.  The guys hire Caroline to dog-sit for her and she’s thrilled to do it because it’ll be like a mini-vacation.  She insists Max come with her and make it into a spring break. 

- Caroline finds an invitation to a foodie party in honor of a new bacon cookbook so the girls go and Max gets chummy with the cookbook author (he's hot and has tattoos).  Caroline hits the after-parties without Max and meets a Greek shipping magnate.  She tries to convince Max to come with them to Tahiti (or somewhere; I can’t remember) but instead they stay home and bake cupcakes for a bitchy food blogger.  The cupcakes are a hit so they made the right decision.

COMMUNITY! and 30 Rock - Didja watch?

Didja watch Community “Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts?”

 - Pierce has changed his look and is investing in business ventures.  Brita, always with the ideas, thinks he should invest in Shirley’s sandwich shop in the lunch room idea.  Before they can see that idea through, Shirley’s boyfriend/ex-husband, Andre, shows up and proposes. 

- Brita is anti-weddings and so is Jeff but they put on happy faces for Shirley who even asks Jeff to give a toast.  Annie offers to help plan as do Troy and Abed but the only think Shirley wants from the latter is for them to be normal.  Challenge accepted!

- There’s no time to think about the sandwich shop so Brita offers to plan the wedding for her which sends Shirley into a literal 2-minute fit of laughter.  Turns out Brita has a real knack for flower arranging which disgusts her because there are people dying in Uganda.

- Jeff is stumped on what to say for the toast and Annie thinks he should just say what’s in his heart.  We then get a peek into Jeff’s heart and in there are things like really good poker hands, sports cars, cleavage, scotch, and Annie!

- Shirley and Pierce pitch the sandwich shop idea to the Dean and he’s totally on board with it.  Too bad she forgets about her wedding rehearsal.  Speaking of, Brita has made the lunch room look magical and this pisses her off even more.  Troy and Abed have de-whimsified themselves and it’s pretty creepy. 

- Shirley finally shows but Andre’s pissed because he wants to go back to the way things were with her at home and him working.  They fight, Jeff is toasted but gives his toast, er, rant and then Brita joins in on the ranting.  Their ranting gets Shirley and Andre to make up and they get married right then and there.  Awwww!

- And Troy and Abed?  They can’t stay normal.  It’s just not who they are.  Plus it’s not what Inspector Spacetime would want.

30 Rock “St. Patrick’s Day”

- Jenna and Tracy are hosting the parade for NBC.  Page Hazel will be taking good care of them even though Kenneth can’t seem to let go.  I’m sure that’ll go just fine.  Jenna and Tracy fight over who’s more famous and ruin the parade telecast.  Hazel really screwed things up so it’s good that Kenneth was there to fix it.

- Liz is going to avoid St. Patrick’s Day and all things Irish as best she can.  Jack thinks she needs to learn a lesson so he says something in Gaelic, which she assumes is a curse. Liz’s ex-boyfriend, Dennis the Beeper King, shows up with a headwound and Criss is too nice to turn him away.  Of course Liz blames Jack’s curse.  Also, Liz is unable to say “I love you” to Criss so he leaves and she’s stuck with Dennis.  He calls Liz on her BS and helps her realize she’s actually pretty Irish herself.  He leaves with his new wife, Megan (because all Irish chicks are named Megan) and Liz finds Criss to apologize and tell her she loves him.  Awww!

- Oh and Jack is king of a big, nerdy game the writers are playing.