Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey Quote of the Day

For those of you following along in your Twilight hymnals, we have reached the parallel scene in FSoG where Edward/Christian saves Bella/Ana from a runaway van/errant cyclist. Yes. The existential threat that faces our heroine has been downgraded from a two-ton vehicle to Kevin Bacon in Quicksilver.

Hey, remember the 80s?

I have no idea if Christian Grey is going to turn out to be a vampire, but I hope shoving Ana out of the way of a bicyclist isn't the most impressive physical feat he manages in the next, sigh, 400 pages.

So onto the quote of the day--I was tempted by E.L. James's pervasive and puzzling misunderstanding of how precisely the human subconscious is defined. Rather than a nebulous and inaccessible repository of untranslated impulses and memories (how the whole of the reality-based community understands the concept), she seems to think it is Ana's superego--the mental process that judges and disciplines the mind. It's constantly "mocking"; "glaring"; "tutting"; and "screaming" at our heroine, telling Ana that Christian, who "smells of freshly laundered linen and some expensive body wash", incidentally, isn't interested in her. This doesn't stop her from drunk dialing him from a bar in Portland, and then vomiting all over him when he shows up to rescue her, leading us to our quote of the day, from Mr. Axe Body Spray himself:

Well, if you were mine, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday.

Um, yikes? Or, as our heroine would put it, double crap? I've heard that we're on the road to S/M territory, but threatening physical abuse in a punitive way ain't hot, E.L. At least Edward had the decency to demonstrate his troubling dominative impulses through threatening to beat up other people.  

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