This is more of how I'm watching and what I think about things.
It's 6:15pm (for me) and I'm just tuning in to the E! red carpet. The veggies are cut, the crackers and cheese are on a plate, and the chutney is ready.
6:18 (for me) and Ryan is talking to Ricky about if his hosting and jokes about celebs have been blown out of proportion.
6:19 (for me) and Clooney has been spotted.
6:23 (for me) and I paused the TV again so I could make a plate
6:25 (for me) and Ryan's talking to George and his ex-wrestler babe. They're now in the lower corner so we can see Sarah Hyland, Chris Colfer, Octavia Spencer (who looks stunning; I hope she wins), Melissa McCarthy, and Claire Danes whose dress I don't like.
6:27 (for me) and Piper Perabo is naked on top. Weird dress. Guiliana is talking to Ariel Winter who has the twins covered up for once. Oooh, Jessica Chastain looks great in white.
6:31 (for me) and Giuliana is talking to Adam Levine. Why is he there? Sarah Paulson looks nice and Amanda Peet dress is strange. Melissa McCarthy looks nice in green but this dress looks a lot like the Emmy dress I think. It's at least the same silhouette. Her hubby is cute and I love that he was the air marshall in Bridesmaids.
6:34 (for me) Wow, Elle MacPherson is stunning and Buffy is wearing this blue and white swirly tie-dyed thing. Huh.
6:36 (for me) and Giuliana is chatting with Jessica Chastain. They like each other. Jessica has been wearing tons of color on the red carpet lately so it's cool that she went white. Paula Patton looks INCREDIBLE! Yellow works so well on women of color.
6:38 (for me) and motherhood really agrees with Nicole Ritchie. Ooh, Sofia Vergara has arrived and looks very nice. Shailene Woodley looks nice and I have no idea how that dress is staying up.
6:40 (for me) and Piper is on the Glamcam360. I'm dizzy. Ryan is talking to Shailene and I have now spotted netting on top which is keeping the dress up. It's faint but if you look it's there.
6:44 (for me) and I had to pause again. Rooney Mara needs some color in her life. HI BUFFY! Apparently her 2-year old daughter picked her entire outfit. Mr. Buffy is home watching football. Nice. I like them.
6:46 (for me) and Ryan is talking to Diane Lane (stunning) and Josh Brolin but then my mom sees Gerard Butler and makes this animal-type noise. Even though I'm behind I love fast-forwarding through commercials.
6:49 (for me) and Giuliana is talking to Octavia Spencer. I love this woman. Watch The Help and watch the making of featurette on the DVD. It's really cool how the movie came together. Mom thinks Giuliana's dress would be prettier without the gold stuff on her hip. I think she's right.
6:51 (for me) and Ryan's talking to the gorgeous Freida Pinto. I love that deep teal color of her dress. The fabric is interesting. Rooney Mara's dress is too long. Sofia Vergara is talking to Ryan about working out (for the first time in her life) and also eating cake and some other word I can't quite make out. Julie Bowen joins them and although she's very pretty she literally pales in comparison to Vergara. Julie looks very old-Hollywood glamourous.
6:56 (for me) and Seacrest is still talking to Julie. I just bit a carrot with a brown spot I had set aside thinking it was a bit of port wine cheese with the nuts on it. At least Rooney Mara smiles. The black hair, black dress, pale skin makes her a little intense. She's growing out the bangs but I wish her hair wasn't back in a basic pony. She could have had it styled a bit better.
6:58 (for me) and the camera just landed on Kristen Wiig giving Gerard Butler a kiss. Mom is trying to figure out how they know each other. Jealous, mom?
6:59 (for me) and the Deschannel sisters are there together! I don't like their dresses. Emily looks matronly and Zooey's is different.
7:01 (for me) and the camera is on Charlize is there with her mom. They're so pretty. Hi, Jane Lynch!!! ZACHARY LEVI!!!!! I love you and your blue tux!
7:02 (for me) Bryan Cranston just said John VarvAHtos and I corrected him with John VarvAAAtos. Then he corrected himself. Good man. Ryan is talking to Matthew Morrison about the future of Glee. The camera cuts to Seth Rogen who looks pretty good. Weight loss doesn't change your annoying laugh though, dude.
7:05 (for me) and Zooey Deschanel is talking to Ryan. I think that's a wig. It's gotta be. I kind of wish the dress was beaded all the way down. It is very different for her. Her skin is so pretty. Her nails are tiny tuxedos!!! I love her. Oooh, Jolie and Pitt just arrived. Her white(ish) dress folds back on the shoulder to show red underneath. Cool.
7:07 (for me) and Jane Lynch looks very nice and makes Ryan look very small. Heh. Where's Joel McHale when you need him?
7:09 (for me) and Ryan is attempting some French with the girl from The Artist. It's a good thing her English is great. Her dress is very pretty and we like the hanky hem. She gets minimized for Laura Dern in plunging, sparkly green. Kristin Wiig looks nice in a perfectly draped dress. Evan Rachel Wood looks nice and I really like her dress.
7:12 (for me) and does anyone ACTUALLY care about Ashton Kutcher shaving? Michelle Williams should have left the headband in the limo. Julianne Moore looks nice as usual. Charlize has joined Ryan and she makes him look terribly short too. Her headband looks great.
7:15 (for me) and Kate Beckinsale looks very pretty. Her twins still sit too high on her chest but the dress is lovely. Salma Hayek is with Ryan now. Her dress scares me a little. She's adorable though. I like the bottom of the dress and I'd like to touch the material. The gold stuff on top is odd.
7:17 (for me) SWINTON!!! Poor Mark Salling and his mohawk are chatting with Giuliana. He says he Twarted earlier. Is that a tweet/fart? Please to explain...
7:19 (for me) and we're seeing a lovely, natural looking Heidi Klum; Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford, and now Seth Rogen is with Ryan. Next up for Ryan is Pittastic and Jolie. They're very pleasant with him. I keep seeing him with the cane but never found out why. Anyone?
7:21 (for me) Angelina is talking about war and rape in Bosnia. Meanwhile I feel awful for wanting to talk about her dress and bag. Her lips match the dress perfectly.
7:23 (for all of us in the eastern time zone) and I'm caught up. Stupid commercials.
7:25 and Ryan's talking to Michelle Williams in a neat dress with patches of velvet. There's a second reason I couldn't wear it; the first being that I'd never fit into a Michelle Williams dress like ever. They showed Busy Phillips in a nice, white dress and I love that they're best friends.
7:28 and Ryan's talking to Mila Kunis. If I could make one of my celeb wishes come true it would be to go drinking with her. She seems like a hoot. I bet Ukie would come along too. Y'all could speak Ukranian (sp?) together. She's a Ukie too, right?
7:30 and Giuliana's talking to Kate Beckinsale and her director hubby Len Wiseman. He's cute an all but how the heck does someone not make it work with MICHAEL EFFING SHEEN?!?! Lea Michelle has arrived. Now we're looking at Heidi Klum and Natalie Portman. Natalie's dress folds over to reveal red underneath too. Oooh! Tina Fey looks lovely. She's awesome. Nicole Kidman's dress is, uh, intricate.
7:32 HI JIMMY! Jimmy Fallon is my #2 crush after Zach Levi. Anywhoodle, he's talking to Ryan with Reese Witherspoon. They'd be cute together but both seem happy in their marriages so I won't start any trouble.
7:35 Guiliana is with David Duchovny who needs less mousse in his hair. Heh. I just caught my mom's dog trying to lick her plate. Keep dreaming, Gus.
7:37 and Diana Agron, always lovely, is talking to Ryan. Her dress is pretty dang cool. It's red cut outs with like swans on it. Her lips match it perfectly. Leo is talking to Marky Mark. Yipes! Lea Michelle is talking to Ryan and I think I'm seeing too much of her. The top of it looks like an ice skater dress. They name drop Georgina and I know it's the Georgina Chapman responsible for her dress. Did you know she's married to Harvey Weinstein? Google her and ponder that marriage for a bit.
7:41 and Emma Stone rushed off and Madonna is there with some chic in a huge dress. Madonna's is pretty cool. Yeah, I really like her dress. Huh. She's starting to look her age again but her faux-British accent is still off-putting.
7:43 and Channing Tatum and wife are talking to Giuliana. My mom likes him but can never remember his name. Jenna Dewan! I could not remember her name. Memory loss sucks when live blogging. The Jessicas are on screen. Biel is wearing a long-sleeved old lady dress. Alba looks nice in lavender and she's very shiny (and not in a Firefly way).
7:46 and we're still seeing Leo and Mark on the carpet. Alba is on her way to chat with Ryan and I like her dress even more now. Everyone makes a stink about Biel's shoulders but Alba has lovely shoulders too.
7:49 Has anyone had Stella Artois beer? Is it any good?
7:51 Does anyone actually watch Kloe and Lamar and Ice Loves Coco?
7:52 and I don't like Claire Danes's dress. Not really. But I'd really like to see her show, Homeland. Jodie Foster looks great! I love that steel grey color of her dress.
7:54 and Guiliana just finished up with Elle MacPherson. Well they've wrapped things up on E! I can't change the channel yet because I am obsessed with that Nicholas Sparks looking movie, The Vow and I have to see the trailer whenever it's on. Pathetic.