- Inside the school Becky let's us hear her inner monologue and it sounds a lot like Helen Mirren! She's crushing on Artie and asks Coach Sue for advice. Luckily she's caught Sue on a rare nice week so Sue tells her to ask him out because the worst that could happen is he says no. True.
- Becky asks Artie out and even pulls a Katie / Hubbell move (anyone?) and gently sweeps his bangs aside. Meanwhile Artie has Schue's song on the brain and tells Schue to go with an upbeat song and that he should be working his hips more because he has rock star hips. Adds Mike, "Mick Jagger hips." NOOOOOO! I immediately fast forward because I know the next song is one of the worst ear worms ever. I'm even scared to type out the name because I'm sure it'll get stuck in my head. Stupid song. They sing a mash up of that with "Jumpin' Jack Flash" but Schue thinks it'd be too sweaty for Emma to enjoy.
- Schue and Finn go ring shopping and he asks Finn to be his best man. So Finn asks Schue's opinion about his idea to join the army and Schue is visibly concerned.
- The girls pitch "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" to Schue and it's very sweet. Each girl pictures her significant other while singing and Mercedes pictures Sam. Scandalous! I guess the song helped because Schue goes to Emma's parents to ask for their blessing. They say no but because they don't think Emma can handle the messiness of marriage and babies, etc. Wow. What jerks.
- Artie and Becky went on their date to Breadstix and Artie had fun with her as he should. She's hilarious as is her mother who makes a cute joke about what a good dancer Becky is by calling it "Get Down's Syndrome." The glee kids think they know better and hold a Becky-vention for Artie warning him away from her. He calls them on their BS about saying it's OK to be different, what matters is on the inside, etc. but really they're just as shallow as everyone else. Becky lets Artie know she wants him, like REALLY wants him this Friday night. He's freaked and goes to Sue for advice. Sue's on a roll because she tells him to be honest with Becky and treat her like everyone else. Sue doesn't let him go before telling him to stop wearing driving gloves and to stop buttoning his shirt all the way up like a weirdo. At the end he lets her down easily but Helen Mirren tells us that it's because of her Down's.
- Then Schue has an army-vention for Finn and rats out Finn to his parents. They try to talk him out of it by letting him in on the secret that his dad didn't die in combat in Iraq but instead died a cokehead in Cincinnati. Nice. It's a Finn/Kurt/Rachel pity party at Breadstix and this prompts Rachel to sing "Without You" to Finn.
Songs I downloaded:
Didja watch New Girl "Story of the 50?" If you had you woulda seen:
- Schmidt's 29th birthday bash!
- Schmidt owes the douchebag jar $50 and we find out it's for something he did at his birthday the night before. We flashback 3 days to when Schmidt loses his reservation for a party bus. He's especially bummed because he's always trying to impress/outdo his college friend, nay bro-nemy/friemesis, Benjamin. Flashback even further to Benjamin and a chubby Schmidt driving to college together.
- Jess wants to throw him a party but Nick and Winston try to dissuade her because Schmidt's friends are very different people. I would love to write down all the funny stuff that gets said but it would end up being longer than my overly long Glee post above. My favorite one was regarding a party Schmidt went to where the theme was Bros Before Hos on the Moon and the dress code was yacht-flair. What does that even mean?!?!
Rachel Harris!) trying to round up some 'party favors' in her school's "confiscation station." She gets out of it by inviting Rachel to the party.
Lizzy Caplan(!) and Winston invites her to the party. Too bad Nick was desperate to keep Schmidt a secret from her.
- Jess rents a school bus that even has a stripper pole. Too bad the stripper service sent an weird, old stripper dude.
- Icky Benjamin hits on Jess and then insults the party. This pisses Lizzy Caplan off who hits him and in the process forces the bus off the road and into a telephone pole. Schmidt admits to Jess that no one ever did that for him before and he really enjoyed the party. He thanks her by trying to kiss her...ergo the $50 in the d-bag jar. There's a fun montage of all the douchey things Schmidt does during the credits and if I wrote them down we'd be in the super long post again.
Didja watch Raising Hope "Mrs. Smartypants?" If you had you woulda seen:
- Hope is smarter at 2 than Jimmy was at 4 (possibly even smarter than he is now). So Jimmy decides to get his GED and Fred Williard (!) is his teacher now and was his teacher back in high school. He uses Jimmy in a really mean way as his example for every question.
- Burt and Virginia don't want Jimmy to be smarter than them so they decide to get their GEDs too. Each one gets tutored in one area and find out that together they make one smart person. So in order to get Jimmy his GED they totally cheat on the exam A-Team style.
So I guess their lesson learned is that if they put their heads together they can cheat their way through anything.